Disclaimer: Disclaimer: All things Star Trek belong to Voyager. I’m just taking a few of the characters for a little outing.

Summary: The Belle Colony issue behind them at last, Kathryn Janeway and Chakotay contemplate their future.

Note: This story begins about six weeks after Tevlik Moon.

La Vita Bella (a story in the BC universe)

by mizvoy

“A leave of absence?” Admiral Owen Paris didn’t try to hide his surprise. “Kathryn, you must be joking!”

“It was that or my resignation,” Kathryn Janeway replied, “and I’m not sure I won’t end up resigning anyway.”

“Because you’re still angry about what happened over Belle Colony?”

“They refused to listen to me when I was begging them to, and now they’re angry because they think I’m refusing to tell everything I know now.”

“When have you ever told everything you know?” He studied her. They were seated at a secluded booth in The Night Owl, a coffee shop in San Francisco, because she refused to come to his office or step foot on Starfleet property. She wasn’t even in uniform on a Thursday afternoon. “You can tell me what happened.”

“What would you like to know, Owen?”

“Did you actually blow up their ship and shoot Chandler single-handed?”

“I never said I blew up their ship. I just said it blew up, and when it did, Kagan was killed.”

“How did it blow up?”

“I really don’t know. The evidence points to a loss of antimatter containment.”

“Strange, don’t you think? For two Starfleet officers to fail to secure the magnetic constrictors in a warp engine?” She shrugged, and he rubbed his face in consternation. “So the ship blows up, which kills Kagan and worsens your phaser wound.”

“Right.”

“When they hear the explosion, Chandler and Tuvok wrestle until Chandler shoots him. Then somehow you manage to shoot Chandler.”

“I really don’t know what Chandler and Tuvok were doing after the explosion, sir. And as for my shooting Chandler, they didn’t search me after I was wounded. When I found the palm phaser in my pocket, I used it.”

“What about the passageway between the room where you were and where Tuvok was? There was evidence that the cave in was caused by explosives.”

“Apparently so, but don’t ask me who put them there.”

“My point is that Chandler, Tuvok and you are unconscious. Kagan is dead. Yet someone dug through the debris and crawled out of the inner room.”

“That’s what they tell me, but I didn’t see it happen. I’d passed out by then.”

“A lot of things don’t add up, Kathryn. There was no sign of a struggle between Chandler and Tuvok in the inside room, but there was a significant struggle in the room where Tom found you.”

She sighed, her finger absently circling the rim of her cup. “I’m not sure my memory can be trusted about much of this, Owen. I’d been shot and then the explosion. I just don’t recall everything very clearly.”

“Kathryn,” he leaned forward and lowered his voice, “no more games. Who else was there?”

Her eyes were ice blue. “You tell me.”

“Someone was.” He sat back with a scowl on his face. “Someone had to be. There was an unidentified ship in the Badlands. It interfered in the battle between Ardene and the Proctor and then disappeared. It came to the moon, right?”

“I never saw a third ship.”

“So you couldn’t say whether it resembled the cloaked ships that the Utavi used in their attack on the Toroyan station?”

“You saw Ardene’s scans the same as I did, Owen. They were inconclusive because of the damage to her sensors, not to mention the normal interference from the plasma storms.”

“Too bad, don’t you think?” He watched her face for a reaction, but she wasn’t forthcoming. “Tom said that when he found you and took you back to the flyer for emergency treatment, you mumbled Chakotay’s name.”

“I was there to clear his name,” she smiled, blushing. “I was probably thinking about him when all of this started, don’t you think?”

Paris drummed his fingers on the tabletop. “Tuvok doesn’t remember fighting Chandler. In fact, he thinks Chandler shot him as soon as the explosion occurred.”

“Well, who knows what happened? He probably suffered a short term memory loss.”

Paris leaned toward her, intent on getting the truth. “Kagan dead and Chandler unconscious on the moon. Six more Starfleet officers dead on the Proctor. I guess you’re saying they were all with Section 31.”

“You said that, not me, Owen.” She took a sip of her coffee. “You could always ask Chandler.”

“He refuses to talk. In fact, he’s attempted suicide three times and is under constant watch.”

She shook her head in dismay. “Is it true that the Proctor self-destructed?”

“Impossible to say. They were severely damaged in the battle, but B’Elanna swears that they weren’t in danger of a breech.” He crossed his arms and glared at her. “And why would eight Starfleet officers be in the Badlands, anyway? Proctor was supposed to be mapping a nebula six sectors away. Why would they attack Ardene? Why would Chandler and Kagan shoot you and Tuvok when you were only there to have a memorial service?”

“I could tell you what I think it was all about, Owen, but you wouldn’t believe me.”

He laughed. “Let me guess. It was all about Belle Colony?”

She tilted her head rather than answering, and smiled when her former mentor groaned in disbelief. “Just as I thought. Owen, I should tell you that I’m going to be away for awhile. I need to collect my thoughts and decide what I want to do next.”

“I have an idea you might be going back to help the Caritas.”

“The woman who runs the orphanage is in the process of rebuilding the house and barn and could use all the help she can get. She nursed me back to health, so I thought I’d return the favor.”

“And the Caritas?”

“Their home base is there, of course. I guess I could help them, too, if they need it.”

“You’re satisfied, now that the charges against Chakotay have been dropped? You’re willing to let this Belle Colony issue drop once and for all?”

She leaned her elbows on the table and gently rubbed her temples with her fingertips. “I’m sorry that it took all this death and destruction to convince Starfleet that he was innocent. So many people suffered who didn’t have to.”

“Miraculous, isn’t it, that a copy of Coquille’s scans was hidden in the wall that collapsed in the caves?”

She laughed out loud. “It is a miracle, Owen. A damned miracle.”

He couldn’t help but laugh with her, marveling at her equanimity. “Maybe someday, you’ll tell me what really happened out there.”

“Oh, Owen, don’t dig too deep. They say the truth will set you free, but that’s a lie. Sometimes, the truth will kill you.”

In spite of his resolution not to get emotional, he felt a sudden pang of remorse. “You aren’t coming back, are you?”

She reached across the table and covered his hand with her own. “I don’t know. I’m terribly disillusioned right now, and I have to decide if I can trust Starfleet enough to come back.”

“If these officers were Section 31, Katie, then this has to be the last of it.”

Janeway shook her head, skeptical. “This group has existed since before the Federation was even established, Owen. You’ve read the history books. You know about Archer’s interaction with them. They’re like a starfish. You chop them into pieces, and then each piece turns into a new starfish.”

“Those officers on the Proctor? None of them was old enough to have been involved with the Belle Colony project.”

“No, but Kagan and Chandler were.”

“And they’re out of the picture, Kathryn, and Belle Colony is out in the open. You’re no longer a threat to anyone.” He paused, lowering his voice. “And neither is Chakotay.”

She slowly raised her head to look at him, careful not to over-react as their eyes locked. She wasn’t about to admit to him or anyone else that Chakotay was alive, not when there might still be some half-crazed idiot who wanted him dead. “It’s too late for him, Owen. Chakotay is gone forever.”

“I hope that isn’t true, Kathryn. Because I have a feeling that if he’s really gone forever, so are you.”

Her eyes misted over, and she took a minute to reign in her emotions. “I’ll be back, if not to resume my career, then to visit my family and my crew. I owe all of you so much, Owen. I owe you, too. I know that.”

“I just want you to be happy, Katie.”

A tear rolled down her cheek. “I will be happy, sir. I promise you that.”

Six months later
The cabin was deceptively rustic form the outside, resembling an unimproved alpine rescue shack with its log construction and native stone fireplace. The addition of a glassed-in front porch was the only thing that set the cabin apart from dozens of others in the high mountain pastures.

One step indoors, however, and you were firmly in the twenty-fourth century. The fireplace was real enough, but was augmented by geothermic heat for the cold winter months. The small kitchen contained all of the necessities of a modern galley, including a replicator, and the bath boasted a luxurious whirlpool tub. A plush sofa and two chairs sat in front of the fireplace, and a state-of-the-art communications center filled the far wall. There was even a transporter pad tucked into the corner of the small dinette. Over the kitchen was a loft that housed a bedroom, a small half-bath, and a closet.

It was the perfect retreat for two.

At the crack of dawn, a young golden retriever who had been sleeping on the pillow in a cozy corner of the loft stood up, stretched, and made her way to the bedside where she snuffed her very cold nose into the warm covers.

“Yikes! Bella!” Chakotay cried out in dismay as he turned to look at the dog who was watching him intently, her tail wagging. “If I didn’t know better, I’d say you’d had that nose in a snowdrift!”

Kathryn lifted her head, spied the dog, and laughed. “That’s what you get for being the early riser around here. She’s used to you getting up to let her out about now.”

“I need to let her know when we have the day off.” He gave the dog a pat on the head and reached for the remote opener for the doggie door. “There you go, Bella. The doggie door’s unlocked.”

As the dog padded across the room and down the stairs, Chakotay rolled over and took Kathryn in his arms. “I think you cover up your head just to avoid Bella’s cold nose.”

“I’m not a new dog owner, so I know the tricks,” she teased, snuggling against him. “Besides, she comes to you first because she likes you better.”

He chuckled. “I don’t think so, Kathryn. You’re just trying to flatter me so I’ll continue to put up with your dog.”

“You love her as much as I do. You just don’t want to admit it.” She yawned and rolled over on her back, unconsciously lacing her fingers over her stomach where the phaser burn had been.

“Does it still bother you?” he asked, placing a hand on hers.

“Not in a long time.” She gave him a tender smile. “You’re too hard on yourself.”

“I wanted to make sure nothing bad happened to you.”

“Chakotay, it’s not your fault.”

“We should’ve had a second ship, so we would’ve known you were in the caves with Kagan and Chandler.”

“No. Please, let’s not go through this again.” She cradled his cheek in her hand. “Everything is fine.”

He pulled her to him, burying his face in her hair. At times, usually at night while he watched her sleep, Chakotay was overwhelmed with guilt. He remembered how shocked he’d been when he saw Kagan drag an obviously injured Kathryn out of the cave and onto the ledge just seconds before the shuttle’s antimatter containment failed. They’d been hiding deep inside the shattered Maquis base since Tuvok had left three days earlier. They hadn’t known that the Delta Flyer had entered orbit overhead and had beamed Kathryn and Tuvok to the surface, and they should have known.

He’d almost killed her. He’d rigged the ship’s containment failure to distract the men from Cabrera and Maraqet’s main attack up the passageway, and he’d hidden in the rocks at the base of the hill to pick off the men if they retreated out one of the three back exits. Everything had gone according to plan when he saw the woman he loved walk out of the cave and into harm’s way.

He’d learned later that she’d escaped serious injury by the narrowest of margins-because of a step back against the cave’s inside wall, because of an atypical vertigo that made her avoid the ledge, because of Kagan’s position in front of her so that his body shielded her from ship’s deadly shrapnel. But at the time, he hadn’t known whether she was dead or alive. He’d scrambled up the tortuous hillside that night, frantic to reach the cave as quickly as possible, oblivious of the blue hot flames of the shuttle, unmindful of the painful pressure in his lungs. He couldn’t stop, wouldn’t slow down for any reason, for all he could see in his mind’s eye was her broken and bloody body lying lifeless on the floor of the cave.

When he reached the top of the trail, he came to a dead stop. Chandler, with Kathryn in his grip, was just a few yards away, shouting into the cave. To his utter amazement, she was not just alive, but still fighting. He watched as she managed to free herself from Chandler’s grasp, giving him the opening he needed to take over the fight. Running full speed up the last few yards of the ledge, he tackled the man just as he raised his phaser and took aim at Kathryn.

“You’re thinking about the explosion again, aren’t you?” Her voice was soft, forgiving. “Please, don’t let it haunt you.”

“I wanted to tell you how sorry I was that night. My plan was to back you up so that you wouldn’t be hurt. I spent weeks working with Maraqet to get the Toroyans to release the Hooded Snake for just that reason, so we could be there, unexpected, to tip the scales in your favor.”

“Chakotay, that’s exactly what happened.”

“When I finally got to you, finally held you in my arms, you seemed to fall asleep. You looked so calm and peaceful that I couldn’t make myself wake you, and there was so little time before we had to leave.”

“When I saw you, when I realized that you’d come to my rescue, I knew everything was going to work out.” She gave him a sympathetic look and reminded herself that he needed to talk about this again and again until he found some sense of closure. “Knowing that you were there to manage the situation, I just relaxed and let you take over.”

“I know that now, but then, I was just so anxious to talk to you. I tried to convince Maraqet to leave me with you until the others arrived.” He didn’t need to remind her that the Toroyans’ single stipulation had been that their ship remained cloaked at all times, afraid that its presence would complicate an already complex diplomatic tangle. “I only agreed to leave when he suggested a compromise.”

“You mean our time together on the Flyer. We both needed to see each other and confirm that everything was going to work out all right.” Kathryn paused, gesturing for silence. Downstairs, the dog burst into the cabin and started up the stairs at a gleeful lope. “Here she comes!”

Moments later, the shaggy pup bounded onto the bed, dropping her toy and gleefully licking whatever bare skin was accessible.

“Oh, no you don’t,” Chakotay countered, putting the toy back in Bella’s mouth and then proceeding to wrestle with her while Kathryn made a quick escape to the bathroom.

She took her time, wanting to wait until the dog’s energy level decreased before she returned to bed for a few more minutes of sleep. It was a rare day off, and she meant to spend most of it resting and spending time at the cabin. When the noise level abated, she opened the door and leaned against the jamb, watching Chakotay snuggle Bella against him as she gently licked his hand.

“That’s a pretty picture. A boy and his dog.”

Chakotay grinned and unceremoniously pushed Bella off of the bed. “Be a good doggie, and go lie down. My number one cuddler is back.”

Kathryn walked toward the bed, kneeling for a moment to give Bella an affectionate scratch behind the ears, and then she crawled in next to him. “I’m so glad you didn’t mind that I brought Bella out here with me.”

“I was thrilled when I saw that you’d brought a dog, Kathryn. I know you won’t stay anywhere too long without one, if you can help it.” He gave her a quick kiss on the end of her nose and then took his own turn at the bathroom. “Wait right there, I won’t be a minute.”

Kathryn watched Bella turn three times before sinking onto her pillow with a sigh and gazing up at her mistress with liquid brown eyes full of love. “Do you miss other doggies, Bella? Are you happy being the only dog in this part of the universe?”

Bella just snuggled her chin on her paws and closed her eyes, so Kathryn rolled onto her back and stared through the skylight at the pink, early morning clouds. She’d left her forwarding address with her mother, but for the first two months of her leave she’d only heard from family and friends. Then she got a discreet query from Admiral Hayes about when they could expect her back. She ignored it, and for another two months, Starfleet left her alone. Then Hayes began a regimen of weekly contacts that her mother dutifully forwarded without comment. Kathryn knew that she would soon have to make up her mind.

As angry as she’d been with Starfleet and the Federation, she missed being at home and enjoying her family and friends. As lovely as this planet was, she missed earth, and she longed for those familiar holidays and seasons more than she thought possible. She was also happier than she could ever remember being in her personal life. The work she’d done in designing and building the new orphanage was gratifying, and she’d even helped the Caritas in some of their missions of mercy. She loved the work she was doing. The cabin was exactly what she’d always wanted. She even had a dog.

And then there was Chakotay-or Tyee, as she called him in public. She turned her head and studied the closed bathroom door, tears filling her eyes. She was relieved to finally be able to love him deeply and openly, and she knew that he loved her just as much, enough to give his life to protect her without a second thought. Working beside him with the Caritas or on the farm or improving the cabin was heaven for her, as natural and comfortable as a hand in a glove. What else could she ask for besides what she had here? What right did she have to occasionally long for a different farm in Indiana?

“A penny for your thoughts,” Chakotay said as he slipped back into bed. “You looked like you were a million miles away.”

She put her arms around him and kissed him. “I was just thinking how happy I am here with you.”

“Yeah,” he nodded, “except . . . ?”

“Except?” She wondered if he’d been reading her mind.

“I saw the look on your face, Kathryn. You miss earth. Right?” When she started to protest, he put a finger over her lips. “Tell the truth.”

She looked down, embarrassed. “Sometimes, I do.”

“That’s more like it. I know you do.”

She looked up at him in surprise. “Have you taken up mind reading?”

“Actually, you aren’t that hard to figure out. You weren’t happy when you were there because you missed me, and you aren’t happy here because you miss being there.” He tucked her head under his chin, her cheek on his shoulder. “The problem is that you want to have it all. You always have.”

“You aren’t exactly right, Chakotay. I was unhappy there without you, but I’m happy here, happier than I’ve ever been in my life.”

“Do you want me to come back with you?”

“We don’t know if it’s safe. There must be other members of Section 31 still in Starfleet. I can’t believe that Chandler’s group was the bitter end.”

“Maybe they’ll leave us alone. We haven’t been bothered in over six months, so I’m thinking it might be safe.”

“You’d go back with me? You’d leave Marilas and the children? The Caritas?”

“I don’t want us to be apart, so I’ll do what I have to do. I know you’re homesick.”

“A simple case of homesickness could be cured by an occasional visit to earth.”

He laid his cheek on her hair, listening to her breathe, watching the sun fill the room with light. “They’re after you to make a decision, aren’t they?”

“Starfleet?” She sighed. “Yes, they are. It’s been six months, as you said.”

“Tell them to stick it.”

She grinned. “Stick it?”

“You need time to recover. The last ten years have been tough, and you need time to reflect on all you’ve been through before you can know what you should do next.”

“All right. I’ll just send Admiral Hayes a two-word response: Stick it!”

“And in the meantime, I’ll help you relax and enjoy life.”

“Enjoy life. What a concept.” She was drowning in his eyes, her pulse already racing because of the passion she saw there. “I love you.”

“I love you, too. And here’s a promise, Kathryn, just to relieve any doubts you might have. Whatever you decide to do, wherever you decide to go, I go with you. From now on.”

She pulled his head closer, pausing just before their lips met. “I’m going to hold you to that promise, mister.”

In the corner of the loft, Bella lifted her head from the pillow and listened to the familiar sighs and murmurs coming from the king-sized bed. Intrigued and excited, she was about to get to her feet to investigate when Kathryn stuck her head out from under the covers and glared at her.

“Bella!” she said in a gruff voice. “You know better. Lie down and stay.”

Chakotay felt sorry for her. “She feels left out, poor puppy.”

“We’ll take her for a walk later. Computer, crate the dog.”

A force field activated around the pillow, and Bella, resigned to her confinement, groaned and laid her head back down on her paws, watching her owners with her soft brown eyes.

“Kathryn, she looks so depressed.”

“Do you want that cold nose to interrupt us the way it did last weekend?” His eyes widened as he recalled the dog’s very intimate, unpleasant, and ill-timed exploration of his naked backside a few days earlier. “I thought for a minute you were having a heart attack.”

He blushed and gave her a wry grin. “You have a good point. A walk would be a great way to cheer her up later.”

Kathryn laughed and pulled him closer, a wicked grin on her face. “Now, where were we?”

Chakotay shifted so that he was looking down at her, putting his weight on his elbows on either side of her body. He studied her face, thinking she was the most captivating woman he’d ever met, and then the depth of his love for her made it hard for him to breathe. “You refused to give up on me. You risked your life more than once to vindicate me. How can I ever thank you? How can I ever show you how much I love you?”

“I know how much you love me,” she assured him. “I can see it in your eyes.” Kathryn traced the dimple in his cheek, her eyes closing as he claimed a tender kiss. With a sigh, she said, “All I’ve ever wanted was the chance to love you back and to share my life with you.”

“We’re going to have a long, happy life together,” he predicted. “A beautiful life.”