Disclaimer: Starfleet belongs to Paramount. No infringement intended.

Summary: In which our favorite command team find out that being a team is what they do best.

Terra Nova

by Mizvoy

Chapter 5: New Resolutions

Three weeks passed, and Chakotay sat in the cockpit of the Terra Nova running through the preflight checklist. The project had turned out to be a healing one in a very personal way. Against all odds, he and Kathryn had finally found each other while restoring the ship. The last two weeks’ work had taken three weeks to accomplish, thanks to the time they’d spent exploring their new relationship, but their time together had been precious and unforgettable.

Even so, the problems they faced seemed almost insurmountable. Chakotay wasn’t about to desert his friends on the Triax Colony, and Kathryn was still trying to decide where her future lay. As he prepared to leave, she was at Starfleet HQ negotiating her future assignment, and Chakotay feared she’d take a ship and disappear from his life for months at a time. But, they loved each other and they were committed to making their relationship work. He held onto that thought like a lifeline.

She’d left one week earlier. He’d watched as she’d dressed in her Starfleet uniform, mumbling under her breath as she struggled to reattach the four pips to her turtleneck in a straight row and right in the middle of the fold. He wasn’t used to the new gray jumpsuit and burgundy shirt and had found himself staring at her. She looked down at herself and then at him. “Is something wrong?”

“I’m used to seeing you in civvies, that’s all.”

“It’s these new uniforms, isn’t it?”

“They’re versatile. Utilitarian.”

“Ugly.” She laughed at the surprised look on his face. “Well, I should have an answer to my future sometime this week. Do they trust me enough to give me a ship? Are they going to force me to take a promotion and perform public relations appearances for the rest of my career?”

“Have you decided what you’ll do?” He studied her face, but couldn’t discern any emotion, any hint of her decision. “I assume you’ll stay with Starfleet, no matter what.”

“I’m not so sure. I haven’t really thought through what I’d do if I retired.” She turned to the mirror by the front door to check her brass one last time. “The colony couldn’t use a decent scientist, could it?”

He hoped she couldn’t hear how his heart was pounding as he walked up behind her and wrapped her in his arms. “We’d find something constructive for you to do, Kathryn.”

She smiled faintly, pulling away. “If I don’t leave now, I’ll be late for work.” They walked hand-in-hand to the transport site in the hangar, enjoying the early morning warmth of the sun and the cool breeze coming up from the valley. She turned to him. “You’ll be here another week?”

“More or less. I’ve got some cosmetic changes to make to the ship and then the flight inspection by the Feds. After that I have a shopping list as long as my arm from the colony. Everything from wines to mushrooms to spices. And I need to see Leila and my cousins again. I’m going to be a moving target, I’m afraid.”

She nodded, trying to mask her disappointment. She’d proposed that she transport back to him each night, but Chakotay had informed her that he needed the flexibility to come and go as he pleased. She suspected that he also wanted her to miss him, to realize what her life would be like without him once he was gone. “Will you notify me before you leave?”

“Of course.” He ducked his head. “I wouldn’t dare leave without telling you goodbye a second time.”

“Promise.” She looked forlorn, worried.

“Promise.”

With a weak smile, she tapped her commbadge and notified the transport net that she was ready to leave. Chakotay felt that a large part of his heart had disappeared with her in the transporter signal.

Now, a week later, he was ready to go. He’d left a message informing her of the time of his departure, but hadn’t heard a word back. He was worried about her silence. He had a feeling that she’d made a decision that didn’t include being with him. Maybe someday they could be together all the time. He wouldn’t give up hope.

He’d finished the preflight checklist and was just about to open the hangar doors to leave when a subspace message arrived from San Francisco. From Kathryn. He activated the commlink and waited for the familiar blue field to disappear. She was wearing civvies, he noted, but at this early hour, that wasn’t a significant sign. Her hair was carefully arranged and her makeup perfect. He figured she was ready into change into her uniform and head for work as soon as they finished talking.

“Hello, Kathryn.” He was surprised that his voice sounded so steady, so calm.

She smiled. “You’re on the Terra Nova.”

“I just finished the preflight and was about to open the doors.”

“You’re leaving right this minute?”

“Well, I have a four-hour departure window with planetary control. I have plenty of time to hear the details about your week.”

She nodded, suddenly tentative. “Since you aren’t in a hurry, could I transport in? I’d rather talk in person.”

By the time he’d exited the ship, she was on the hangar platform walking toward him, still out of uniform. Maybe she’d arranged her schedule so she could stay for a few hours. “This is a nice surprise, Kathryn!” he said, beaming at her, relieved to be able to tell her goodbye in person. “I thought I wouldn’t get a proper send-off.”

She took his arm, standing on her tiptoes to kiss his cheek. “Let’s walk while we talk.” At first, she was silent, and he was content just to be with her. They started up the path toward the cabin as they had dozens of times before, and he basked in the comfortable quiet between them, taking it as a sign of their restored emotional connection. She stopped just outside the cabin and faced him. “Six days ago, I retired from Starfleet.”

His mouth fell open in surprise. “Six days ago?”

She blinked back tears. “They decided that Admiral Janeway’s actions and my bending of the prime directive and other Starfleet protocols ‘precluded assignment to command positions.'” She crossed her arms and took a deep calming breath. “Oh, they wanted to promote me so I could continue to be their golden girl, but I couldn’t see it. I heard them out, handed them my pips, and went home to Indiana.”

“You didn’t call me.”

She could tell he was hurt. “I was too angry.” She turned away and walked to an outcropping of rock that overlooked the valley. “Do you know what incident they focused on?” She looked at him over her left shoulder. “The time I threatened Noah Lessing’s life. The time you stopped me from murdering him.”

“Equinox. What a mess that was. You wouldn’t have let it happen.” He felt sick at his stomach at the memory. That series of events had haunted him, and Kathryn, for years.

“Oh, yes, I would have.” She wrapped her arms around herself. “I was out of control, and you saved me from committing murder. Have I ever thanked you for that?”

“Kathryn, don’t do this. If Noah’s forgiven you, surely you can forgive yourself.”

She turned away again, her shoulders stiff with tension. “I cried for two days. My mother was beside herself. Then I did some serious thinking, trying to imagine my life outside of Starfleet. I couldn’t do it, Chakotay. I couldn’t imagine not putting on that uniform every day. My thoughts went round and round in my mind. I was angry at everyone else for awhile and then at myself. That’s when I got your message.”

“You should’ve called me right away, Kathryn. You needed me. I thought we loved each other.”

She faced him, tears welling up in her eyes. “I do love you, Chakotay, I do need you, and I have called you.”

He hesitated only a second before he went to her, putting his arms around her and cradling her against his body. She dissolved into tears as she threw her arms around him, sobbing into his shoulder. In all their years in the Delta Quadrant, in all the tragedies and crises they’d faced, he’d never seen her cry like this, huge gulping sobs that wracked her whole body. He spoke quietly to her, reassuring her of his belief in her, of her integrity, of her goodness. Eventually, he walked her back to the cabin, settled her on the sofa, and got her a big cup of coffee and a warm washcloth for her mottled face.

“I’m sorry,” she sniffed, burying her face in the warm cloth. “I’m not usually this emotional.”

He sat down and put his arm around her. “Kathryn, for seven years you did your best to run a Starfleet ship in the midst of the worst possible circumstances. You did a fine job, plus you got your crew home in just seven years. You’re a miracle worker, a true hero, and you deserve to be given the biggest ship in the fleet for what you’ve done.”

She gazed at him, her eyes shining. “I didn’t do it alone, you know. I couldn’t have done it without the crew. Especially without you.”

He took her hand. “No matter what else I do in my life, working with you will always be my proudest accomplishment.”

“Because you survived it.”

“No, although that’s part of it.” He grinned. “We’re a perfect team, Kathryn. Your scientific, analytical, skeptical mind paired with my intuitive, spiritual leaps of faith made for some interesting arguments, but never led us astray.”

“I was wondering about that.”

“What?”

“The team.” She stroked his cheek. “I’ve enjoyed our time together working on the Terra Nova. In fact, I was sorry when it was time to go back to Starfleet.” She blushed and looked away. “I never thought I’d hear myself say that.”

He grinned, hope blossoming in his chest. “You know, it’s a long trip to Triax all alone. Coming along with me would give you some time to think about what you want to do next without any external pressure. And I could use your company.”

“In what capacity?”

“I’ll let you be captain, if that’s what you mean.”

She laughed out loud. “I hardly think that’s necessary, with a crew of two.” She looked down at the hangar in the shimmering heat of the desert. “But I’m tempted.”

“Come with me, Kathryn. Spending some time with the former crew on the colony will do you some good, too. You might find meaningful work to do. You might even come to like it there.” With me, he wanted to add.

“Where would I stay?”

He decided to throw caution to the wind. “I have plenty of room in my cabin.”

She turned to face him, as if she’d been waiting to hear those words. “All right. I’ll go.”

He smiled. “I’ll rearrange my schedule so you can tell your mom goodbye and pack your things.”

“Oh, that’s not necessary. I’ve already packed. My things were supposed to be transported ten minutes after I was. And I told Mom goodbye before I called you this morning.”

He was obviously delighted. “Kathryn Janeway. You’re very sure of yourself.”

She moved close to him, sliding her arms around his waist. “If so, it’s because you’ve made me feel secure. I love you.”

Chakotay froze, afraid to move. He could feel the heat from her body, smell her distinctive perfume, and he was drawn toward her like a magnet. He leaned down and gently kissed her. “I love you, too. I really didn’t want to leave without you.”

She smiled and snuggled into his chest. Forget the four-hour departure window, she thought. It would be a few days before they’d be ready to focus on anything except each other and all the possibilities of their future.

“Whatever happens next, Chakotay, we do it together.”

“Aye, Captain.”

“That’s Kathryn to you, mister.” She looked up at him, her eyes shining. “Suddenly, I’m anxious for our future to start.”

His eyes twinkled as he pulled her onto his lap and gave her a passionate kiss. “Let’s start it now.”

The End