Disclaimer: Starfleet belongs to Paramount. No infringement intended.

Summary: In which our favorite command team find out that being a team is what they do best.

Terra Nova

by Mizvoy

Chapter 3: Anticipation

A week later, Kathryn Janeway left a two-hour meeting with Admiral Paris feeling angry and frustrated. She’d wanted him to help her get another ship, to get off earth and back into space where she belonged, but he’d basically stonewalled her. The admiralty was happy with her work in analysis, he’d said, and they were considering promoting her so they could keep her there. She’d angrily threatened to refuse a promotion, to resign her commission, to go to the press with their prejudice against her because of another Kathryn Janeway’s actions.

That had silenced him. Starfleet had never revealed the true circumstances surrounding Voyager’s return, fearing that the fact that an admiral from the future had rewritten twenty-six years of history would create a firestorm of protest in the Federation. He’d reluctantly agreed to discuss her future with Admiral Hayes, but she doubted it would do any good. She forced away feelings of despair.

As she walked toward the transport station, she felt her heart growing heavy. She was lonely and tired, fighting depression as hard as she could. Her spirits had been temporarily lifted the week before when Tuvok had visited her and she’d lunched with Harry, but the glow of their contact quickly faded. Although she saw Annika and a few others regularly, she missed the closeness of a starship crew, the feeling of family, the long hours of work that left her tired enough to sleep at night. She needed a ship. Failing that, she needed a goal to work toward.

But, as she rematerialized in Indiana, she had to be honest with herself. She didn’t just need a ship; she needed Voyager. She didn’t just need a crew; she needed Voyager’s crew. She stopped and looked at her family home, so familiar, so comforting, and knew that she’d been hiding from the truth. She missed being with Tuvok, and Harry, and Tom and B’Elanna. She missed Neelix, Naomi and Samantha, Ayala, Chell, the Delaneys. She missed Chakotay. Especially Chakotay.

Tears sprung to her eyes as she thought of them standing on the bridge when Voyager returned to earth in a blaze of glory. Nothing had turned out as she’d expected. Seven and Chakotay’s relationship had quickly stalled and evaporated when Axum had arrived a few weeks later. The Maquis had pled guilty to their crimes and had accepted their commuted sentences gracefully, escaping to new lives on Triax colony the very next day. Older members of the Starfleet crew had retired or resigned and joined them there, while the rest had quickly been reabsorbed into the fleet. Voyager had been decommissioned and disassembled. And she, the triumphant captain, had been labeled untrustworthy and chained to a desk.

The problem was that a seven-year absence was hardly unprecedented, even if they had traveled 70,000 light years from the far reaches of the galaxy. And while she was lauded as the “Marco Polo” of their century, the novelty of their adventure soon wore off. It would be decades before anyone could easily return to the Delta Quadrant, and, in the meantime, their exotic stories were little more than science fiction.

She sighed and walked through the gathering darkness, considering, for the first time in her life, a future that might not include a career in Starfleet. Maybe it was time to fold her tent and slip silently into the night. Maybe she should look at teaching or some sort of scientific research. Maybe she should travel, find a nice, quiet spot, and write her memoirs.

But she’d have to think it through, talk about it with the people she trusted most-her mother, Tuvok, Admiral Paris . . . Chakotay. She stopped in her tracks, suddenly missing her first officer even more than usual. How many times did she glance to her left at moments of decision, as if he would miraculously be at her shoulder as he’d been on Voyager? She missed his calm, steady presence, his creative tactics, his deep insight, and his incredible understanding of her thoughts and dreams. But, Chakotay was gone, involved in a new life, and she’d simply have to find a way to go on, too.

She remembered Admiral Janeway’s obsession with changing history, restoring Tuvok’s sanity, saving Seven’s life, insuring Chakotay’s marriage lasted. She wondered what she would think of this future her sacrifice had created. While Tuvok and Seven were certainly better off, Chakotay was alone, Voyager in pieces, and Kathryn’s career all but over. Would the admiral think this sorry state of affairs was worth the surrender of her life?

As she approached the house, she noticed lights in the kitchen and her steps quickened. She’d been expecting her mother’s return for the last several days. It was just like her to simply appear and fix dinner as if she’d never been gone.

“Mom?” she said, as she burst into the house. “Mom! I’m home!”

“So am I,” Gretchen said as she peeked around the corner from the kitchen. “As soon as I get these brownies out of the oven, I’ll give you a hug.”

Kathryn left her briefcase in the hall and joined her mother in the kitchen, her mouth salivating at the wonderful aroma of caramel brownies fresh and hot. She also saw a pot with fresh marinara sauce, one with boiling water for pasta, and bowl filled with a beautiful salad. “Mom, everything looks and smells wonderful!”

Gretchen gave her daughter a big hug, and then pushed her away to look at her carefully. “You have been eating, right?”

Kathryn laughed. “You can check the replicator logs, Mom, and see that I have been.”

“I’ll see that you replicated food, but I won’t see if you ate it.”

Kathryn chuckled. Some things never changed. “How was Phoebe?”

“She’s going to have a baby.”

“Oh, Mom, that’s great news! When’s it due?”

“Six months. There’s a stack of pictures on the table if you want to look at them.”

Kathryn peeled off her tunic and sat down at the table, slowly working her way through the pictures, asking questions about Phoebe’s husband, their house, their jobs. Suddenly she fell silent, and Gretchen, who was in the process of draining the pasta, looked up. “Is something wrong, Kath?”

“Who’s this?” She held up a photo of a tiny little girl with faint forehead ridges, chocolate smeared all over her face, and a tangle of black hair.

Gretchen didn’t flinch. “That’s Miral.”

“Miral Paris,” she whispered.

“Don’t you think she looks like her mother?”

Kathryn stared at Gretchen a long while, then studied the picture more carefully. “Miral,” she repeated, as if saying the name for the first time. “You did go to Triax.”

“I tried to get pictures of everyone,” her mother continued. “I thought you’d like that.”

Kathryn was silent as she looked through the photos even more slowly, her heart pounding. There they were, the Maquis and many of the Starfleet crew living and working together in what looked to be a nearly ideal setting. She blinked back tears as she thought about her crew. “Triax Colony looks lovely.”

Gretchen smiled wickedly to herself. “It’s like a new earth.”

Her daughter’s head snapped up. New Earth. Could Gretchen know what those words would mean to her daughter? She shook her head and went back through the pictures. “Someone’s missing,” she said.

“Oh, really?” Gretchen brought the salad to the table and glanced over her daughter’s shoulder. “I can’t imagine who. I was pretty systematic in getting at least one picture of everyone.”

“Chakotay. I don’t see any pictures of him.” She was surprised to hear how disappointed she sounded.

Her mother moved back to the stove. “Oh, Chakotay. Well, I didn’t think I’d need to bring pictures of him.”

“Why not? He was my first officer, Mother!”

“He came with me.”

Kathryn just stared at her in amazement. “He came back to Earth with you.”

“I think that’s what I said,” she replied. “He’s in Arizona visiting his sister. I think he plans to see you, too, while he’s here. Unless you don’t want to see him.”

“Why wouldn’t I want to see him?” She winced a little at her strident tone and at the steady look her mother gave her.

“He seems to think you’re angry with him.”

“Well, I should be. He didn’t trust me. He didn’t have to plead guilty and ruin the rest of his life.”

“Kathryn, his decision to plead guilty had nothing to do with his trusting you or not. And I hardly think his life is ruined. He seems quite happy to me.” She served her daughter pasta and salad and returned to the stove for her own. “He says he did what they accused him of, Kathryn, and that he was prepared to pay the consequences for his actions.” She sat down and poured them each a glass of wine. “He handled the situation like an adult, if you ask me.”

Kathryn placed the photos carefully by her place mat and toyed with her pasta. “Was it so adult of him to run off the way he did? Without even a goodbye?”

“You remember what it was like,” her mother said evenly. “The press was relentless. No one could draw an easy breath. And then Axum arrived. I can’t blame him for leaving, even if he did leave too quickly.”

“I bet he’s anxious to see Annika.”

“He says he’s planning to see everyone he can from Voyager while he’s here-you, Annika, Harry, the Wildmans.” She put down her fork and sighed. “Are you jealous?”

“Of what?”

“Tom Paris thinks you had feelings for Chakotay.”

Kathryn frowned and pushed her plate away. “Not that rumor again! Please, Mother, you know I’d never get involved with my first officer!”

“Oh, I know you didn’t get involved with him. The question is whether you had feelings for him.” She studied her daughter carefully, noticing the red blush crawling up her neck. “And whether he had feelings for you.”

“I don’t think that’s anybody’s business but mine, Mother.”

“Yours and Chakotay’s.”

Kathryn sniffed. “He had a funny way of showing interest in my feelings, running off the way he did.” She reached for her wineglass. “He’s demonstrated a preference for blondes.” She took a long sip. “Several times, in fact.”

“So, dye your hair!”

“Mother! Honestly! He’s my first officer! He’s a convicted felon! He lives hundreds of light-years away from here! And he obviously doesn’t care about me!”

“Kathryn, he’s no longer in Starfleet. Many people consider him a hero, not a criminal. And one or the other of you can move.” She watched her daughter twirl the wineglass nervously between her hands. “When I first met your father, I didn’t give him a second thought. I wasn’t about to marry a Starfleet officer. No way. And your father avoided Admiral’s daughters like the plague, especially Admiral Kiernan’s daughter. He and my father had tangled more than once on Federation policy. Our relationship had no hope at all.”

Kathryn looked up, suddenly interested. “I didn’t know that.”

“Well, we didn’t talk about it with you girls.”

“What happened?”

“He came to the University of Indiana for an advanced degree in quantum physics. I was working on my master’s in math. Although we had met briefly at a reception a couple of years before, without his uniform and without my father around, we didn’t recognize each other at first.”

She paused, her eyes taking a faraway look. “I remember that meeting as if it were yesterday. He had the bluest eyes that seemed to see right through me. I almost lost my breath.” She smiled. “I fell in love with Edward Janeway in spite of myself, and he loved me from the first, too. When we realized who we were, we decided we couldn’t continue to see each other, but I couldn’t get him out of my mind. Or out of my heart. I knew it was Edward or no one for me from that moment on, Kathryn. I had to accept his career and he had to accept my father as part of the bargain.”

Kathryn grinned. “I bet you had some long arguments before you worked it all out.”

“Well,” her mother sighed, “the nice thing about arguments is the making up after them. We compromised by living in Indiana, away from Starfleet command and Paris. And, we only saw Grandpa twice a year.”

“Thanksgiving and a week in July.”

“I’ve seen the picture you have of Chakotay in your night stand.”

Kathryn studied her glass. “That’s snooping.”

“I was looking for your lost pips one morning, and there it was.”

“So I have a picture of him. He was a good friend.”

“And you can’t get him out of your mind. Or your heart. Can you?”

“Enough of this!” Kathryn stood up, suddenly embarrassed. “We aren’t you and Dad, Mother. It wasn’t love at first sight. I don’t moon for him day and night like a college girl. I’m glad you’re home, but this conversation is over. I’m tired and I’m going to bed. Good night.” With that, she scooped up her tunic and stomped from the room.

“Good night, Kathryn,” her mother said, taking another bite of pasta. She chewed thoughtfully as she heard the door of her daughter’s room close firmly. “But excuse me if I don’t believe you.”

Kathryn spent the next ten days on pins and needles, aware that every incoming message and every unannounced visitor could be Chakotay. She found herself scanning the crowds for his face as she walked to and from her office. Even at home when she tried to relax, she knew he was somewhere on the North American continent and liable to appear without warning right in front of her. If she had remembered his sister’s last name, she might have contacted him first just to lessen the tension, but he’d only called her Liana.

On the morning of the eleventh day she decided to quiz her mother. “How long did you say Chakotay was planning to stay?”

Gretchen turned her back to hide her tiny smile. “A week or so, I think.”

Although Kathryn expected to be relieved, she discovered that being neglected a second time only deepened the hurt. He must have forgotten to see her. Or run out of time. “So much for that, then.”

“I’m sure he’s been busy.”

“Right. He was too busy.” Too busy to stop by for an hour? She finished her breakfast and made her way to the transport site feeling more morose than she had in days. She was quiet and withdrawn all morning, oblivious to the beautiful San Francisco day that begged for a nice leisurely walk. “I’m going to the Night Owl for lunch,” she told her secretary. “And I may be late getting back.”

“Enjoy yourself,” the secretary replied, glad that her boss was taking some much needed time off. “It’s supposed to start raining tonight.”

Kathryn strolled slowly through the Starfleet gardens and the streets of the city, enjoying the combination of warm sun and cool breeze and trying to decide which salad she’d order. She even contemplated stopping by the gym for a few laps in the pool before returning to her office. She was halfway through her taco salad when a shadow fell over the table.

“Your secretary said I’d find you here,” said a familiar voice. Kathryn froze, her fork in midair as Chakotay sat down across from her in the booth. “Do you mind if I join you?”

She looked up into his smiling face, the dark brown eyes twinkling and the devastating dimples on full display. To Kathryn, every sound in the noisy café disappeared as their eyes locked. Her heart raced as she struggled to swallow, choking on the salad. Chakotay encouraged her to drink some water and came around to her side of the booth to pound her on the back. Finally, tears in her eyes, she gasped, “Chakotay!”

He was grinning at her. “I’m sorry to surprise you, Kathryn. Didn’t your mom warn you I’d be coming to see you?”

She still struggled for breath, cleared her throat several times, and signaled the waitress for more water. “Yes, but I thought you’d forgotten. It’s been nearly two weeks.”

“I know. My schedule was changed. I’ve been to Risa for an impromptu family reunion and just got back last night. Besides, I know better than to leave without seeing you, especially after last time.”

She finally caught her breath and twisted around to look at him. “You got back last night?”

“Yes, and I’m afraid I slept in this morning.” He moved back to the opposite bench so he could see her better. “I was hoping to take you to lunch. Mind if I order something?”

“Of course not.” She laughed as she listened to him order a dinner salad, eggplant parmagiana, pasta alfredo, fried mushrooms, pecan pie, and a large chocolate milkshake. “Didn’t they feed you on the transport?”

“I missed breakfast,” he replied, winking at the waitress as she refilled Kathryn’s coffee cup. Kathryn sipped the coffee and toyed with her salad, happy just to look at him. He was gratified to see that she’d put on a little weight, just enough to make her look athletic and healthy. “You’ve been working out.”

She smiled. “Yes. I try to swim a few times a week, and I lift some weights now and then. You, on the other hand, look just the same. Maybe a little more gray hair, but otherwise just the same.”

“I have a few sparring partners, and I try to run every day.”

They fell silent, enjoying each other’s presence as Chakotay attacked his meal. Gradually, they caught up with each other. Chakotay described his work on Triax and the few remaining members of his family who had met on Risa. Kathryn explained her quandary-how her need for a ship was frustrated by Admiral Janeway’s actions. He listened quietly as she complained and railed against the admiralty in particular and Starfleet in general. She finally stopped, grinning apologetically.

“I apologize, Chakotay, for going on and on. I’ve needed to talk to someone I trust about all this, and you presented yourself as if on cue.”

“Glad I could help. In fact, I’m glad you still trust me.” He leaned back as the waitress delivered the pie and took his empty dishes. “Here,” he said, handing her a spoon, “help me eat this pie. I know it’s your favorite.”

She took the spoon and scooped a bite into her mouth. “Yum. Thanks for sharing.”

“My pleasure.” They took turns with the pie until the last scrap was gone, and then Chakotay relaxed against the back of the bench. “How much vacation time have you taken since we got back, Kathryn?”

She looked away, her eyes thoughtful. “Not much.”

“No, really. A month? Two months?”

“A couple of weeks, altogether.”

“That’s all? No wonder you’re tired. You need a break. You need to get away from Starfleet for awhile and consider your future from a different perspective.”

“Funny you say that,” she said softly. “For the first time in my life, I’ve actually contemplated leaving Starfleet. I’m not sure I have much of a future left there anyway.”

He shook his head in disbelief. “Am I hearing right? Did I just hear Kathryn Janeway say she might leave Starfleet?” He chuckled. “Your secretary told me you didn’t have a thing on your calendar this afternoon. Why not take some time off and let me show you something.”

Her face lit up. “A surprise? What is it?”

He shook his head. “You’re still like a child about surprises, aren’t you? If I tell you it won’t be a surprise.”

They beamed into a hangar located near a deserted airstrip in Arizona. Chakotay went to the security panel and tapped in his code, flooding the huge bay with light and revealing a small tactical runabout near the hangar doors. Kathryn’s mouth fell open in shock.

“I don’t believe my eyes.” She turned to Chakotay. “Is that what I think it is?”

“It is if you think it’s an early model of your father’s last ship. Production number 47, to be exact.” He watched as she walked reverently to the ship and touched it. Her father and fiance had died right before her eyes when a prototype of this ship, the Terra Nova, had crashed. He couldn’t imagine what she was thinking or feeling to see this shuttle again. “I purchased it for the colony. We need small reliable ships like this.”

“Reliable?” She smiled up at him, tears shimmering in her eyes. “It must be twenty years old. Does it even fly?”

He grinned. “Not very well. I’m going to get it space worthy and fly it back to Triax. My sister’s relatives have a cabin just up the hill, and I’m planning to stay there while I work on it.”

“A long while, unless you know a miracle worker.” She walked to the back of the ship and manually released the door, peering in. “At least the inside is in one piece. But this nacelle is shot.”

“So is the other one. But the impulse engines work.” He shrugged. “It’s a fixer-upper.”

She laughed. “Chakotay, your stay may be longer than you think.”

“Not if you help me.”

“Me?” She spun to face him. “I’m not an engineer.”

“You could’ve fooled me. I wish you knew how many times B’Elanna complained to me about your ‘micromanagement’ of engineering. But, most of the time, she was glad for extra hands.”

Kathryn grew thoughtful and turned to study the ship. “Number 47, huh?” She ran her hand along the exterior as she walked to the front of the ship. “I do have quite a bit of leave to use.”

“This is something completely different from what you’ve been doing, Kathryn, and it will be helping the colonists, our crew. Plus, it’s something we can do together.”

Together. That sounded nice. She turned to him, a grin on her face. “I’ll do it.”

“Great! What do you say we run some diagnostics and try to figure out what to do first.”

She rubbed her hands together. “Oh, no, Commander. First we make sure the onboard replicator is programmed for good, hot coffee!”

He laughed. “Yes, ma’am.”

Suddenly, the future looked promising, very promising indeed.

To be continued