Disclaimer: All hail Paramount. These characters, these ships, these relationships belong to them. I’m just trying to fulfill their potential.
Summary: The first meeting between J/C following Equinox.

Repairs (an Equinox addition)

by Mizvoy

From his quarters, Chakotay watched the last moments of the Equinox as its shields dropped, allowing the subspace creatures to penetrate the ship at will, and then suddenly came to life, arcing gracefully away from Voyager until it exploded in a massive antimatter core breech. He wondered how many of the crew had perished in that last battle, sacrifices to Ransom’s evil scheme. He wondered how Captain Janeway would react once time and emotional distance allowed her to view her actions dispassionately and see that she, too, had crossed the line.

He was still staring into space when his door chime was activated. The captain had sent Ensign Kim to bring Chakotay to her ready room. He took a few moments to find and put on his jacket while Kim fidgeted.

“Is the comm system down, Harry?” he asked as they entered the passageway, still littered with debris from the last fight with the Equinox and the subspace creatures.

“No, sir. I wondered why she didn’t just call you.” Chakotay could hear the unasked question in the tone of Kim’s voice-was it because the first officer had been relieved of duty and confined to his quarters? Had his commanding officers so damaged their working relationship that they could no longer speak to each other?

“I’m sure she had her reasons,” Chakotay replied. He knew Janeway had done it to double the time it would take for him to arrive at her door, a common ploy he himself liked to use in volatile moments. That way he had more time to gain control over his own emotions, to prepare himself for a difficult confrontation. As they entered the turbolift, he asked, “How many did we lose on Equinox?”

“You saw what happened?”

“A warp core breech is hard to miss.”

Harry nodded. “Captain Ransom refused to be transported off of his ship. He said he needed to put distance between Equinox and Voyager before the explosion. Also, the first officer died and several others. I think we got five or six back.”

That few left from a crew of seventy six. Chakotay was afraid to ask about the blond engineer he had rescued. “Gilmore?”

“She made it.”

Chakotay was glad to hear that Ransom had died in an act of nobility and self-sacrifice. Maybe he finally came around to his Starfleet training. If so, he had kept the faith, paying for his guilty acts with his life.

The turbolift door opened on the bridge, and Harry walked quickly to his post at the ops station, leaving Chakotay on the upper deck. He quietly surveyed the bridge, littered with shattered bulkhead and overhead panels and scarred by phaser fire that had been aimed at their attackers. No one acknowledged his presence, but he could sense the emotional upheaval. They wondered why the captain had relieved him. What would happen next? Would she restore him to his position? Their ship was in pieces and their chain of command shattered.

He sighed and walked to the ready room door. This was bad. He knew that everything they had struggled to accomplish in the last five years could come apart in their hands. Luckily, he had been in his quarters for less than two hours, and most of the crew was unaware that it had even happened. Depending on the captain’s disposition, they could surely find common ground.

Janeway had retreated to her ready room as soon as Kim had left the bridge to get Chakotay. She walked to the upper level and watched the Ankari vessel slowly turn and begin its return trip. What would have happened if she had let Lessing die? They would never have been able to communicate with the Ankari and through them the subspace beings. Chances were that Voyager would’ve shared Equinox’s fate. Chakotay had been right about needing to focus on the aliens, not on Ransom. Why hadn’t she listened to him? She began to pace, dreading the upcoming meeting with the first officer she needed so desperately.

She had relieved him because he had put conditions on his obedience to her orders. Defiance like that justified his being relieved by a commanding officer. But, the condition had been carefully defined as “murder,” an illegal order that must be disobeyed. He had been right again. He had been right about her grudge against Ransom and her desire to punish him for what he had done, no matter what the cost. She had lost sight of her duty to protect her precious ship and crew in her emotional reaction to a betrayal by one of her own kind.

But, the problem wasn’t just that she had been wrong and Chakotay had been right. They’d disagreed before. This time she’d refused to listen to him, to hear what he needed to tell her. He’d resorted to making his suggestions and comments in writing when he had never resorted to formality in five years.

Now the crew knew they had argued. She could see the insecurity and concern in every face and hear the unasked question spinning in their minds, the question Chakotay had asked her: “What’s happened to you, Kathryn?”

She stopped and stared at her reflection in the window. “What has happened to me?” she wondered aloud, feeling her heart racing. She looked tired and frenzied, her uniform smeared and unprofessional, her hair mussed.

When Seven and the doctor had returned to Voyager and Janeway had been informed of Ransom’s near murder of Seven, she had almost become physically sick. Seven had nearly died because of her loyalty to Janeway, for her refusal to betray Janeway. And Lessing had nearly died because of the same loyalty to Ransom. Who was the monster? Which captain was right? She nearly sobbed as she fled from her reflection and collapsed at her desk. She had to regain her self control before Chakotay arrived. Attempted murder. She buried her face in her hands.

Five minutes later, Chakotay entered the ready room and stood quietly in front of her desk.

She looked up. “Commander, I’m returning you to duty as first officer without prejudice.”

“Thank you, Captain.”

She stood up, her eyes narrowed. “Don’t thank me for correcting something that should never have happened.”

Chakotay held his breath. Had she just admitted making a mistake? Has she regained her balance so quickly? She looked away, toward the view outside the window. He exhaled.

“We’ll work through our problems at a better time, Chakotay. Right now, I need you to take over the repairs.”

“Aye, Captain.”

“Also, we’ll be adding Equinox’s survivors to our crew. Do you know where they can be placed?”

“I’ll take care of it.”

Janeway was relieved, and she relaxed perceptively, sitting back down with a sigh. He would, as usual, take care of the crew. “Very well. Let me know where they are. Have them closely supervised. I don’t want any other surprises out of them.”

“They’ll need some time without pressure or responsibility after all they’ve been through, but they’ll come around.”

Janeway continued to stare out the window, sitting motionless with her eyes hooded, staring at a point in the distance as if in a trance. Chakotay watched her and forced himself to relax. Outside, on the bridge, he could hear the sounds of repair crews moving the debris.

Finally, she said, “I wish we had time without pressure or responsibility, Chakotay.”

He sighed and thought about the irony of it all. Voyager and her command team were damaged, too, but not beyond repair. He’d see to that.

“In time,” she mused, “they’ll be good additions to our crew.”

“They just need the proper leadership, Captain.” As soon as the words left his mouth, Chakotay regretted them. She brought her left hand up and rubbed her temple in obvious pain, shielding her face from him.

“I’ll be sure to pass through their work areas once some time has passed,” she said, “let them get to know me.”

“That will help.”

She remained hidden behind her hand. She wondered how long it would take for Lessing to trust her? How long for the others, who had been on Equinox when she’d fired on them.

Chakotay tried not to fidget, even though he wondered how the repair crews had been organized, how much work needed to be accomplished, how priorities had been set. He needed to get to work, but she wasn’t ready to dismiss him. He relaxed his knees and gripped his hands behind his back. The silence stretched into minutes.

“Tuvok to Janeway.”

The captain’s head jerked up as she realized how long the uncomfortable silence had lasted. She glanced at her first officer who still stood in front of her desk. “Janeway here.”

“The Equinox’s survivors will be assembled in the conference room in fifteen minutes.”

“We’ll be there.” She looked Chakotay in the eye. “You’ll come with me.”

“As you wish.”

She thought about the upcoming confrontation. “I’m still so mad at Ransom I want to scream. How dare they abandon us to those creatures?”

“It was inexcusable. They need a proper Starfleet butt chewing.”

Her eyes flashed with anger. “And then you’ll swoop in and play the good cop?”

He refused to respond in kind. “I’ll listen to them and help them figure out what went wrong. They eventually need to feel accepted here as part of our crew. In time, I’ll wear the black hat whenever needed to keep them in line.”

Janeway nodded and traced a pattern on the top of the desk. She smiled faintly. “You’re telling me not to hold a grudge.”

“You’re a quick learner.” He held his breath-had he been too sarcastic?

She raised her eyebrow and frowned. “Not quick enough, obviously.”

He was flooded with relief. She could almost joke about it. “Actually, Kathryn, we are a well-balanced command team.”

“I think so, too.”

A crash of debris on the bridge caught their attention. “With your permission, Captain, I’d like to check on the repairs before the meeting.”

“Another good idea, Commander.”

He left her sitting behind her desk and walked onto the bridge, glad to have something to keep him busy. The tension and formality of their meeting disturbed him as much as the visible and cluttered damage to the ship. The healing had to start as soon as possible. He returned to his seat on the bridge, aware of the crew’s scrutiny, but unwilling to acknowledge it.

“The captain has returned me to duty,” he said, moving on quickly to the matters at hand before anyone could make a comment. “I want a quick update on the ship’s status and repairs.”

Relieved to have their first officer back, the crew went to work.

Later, he thought, she said that later we would work through our problems. Somehow he knew they’d find common ground. They had no other choice.