Disclaimer: Star Trek, Voyager, Janeway, and Chakotay all belong to Paramount. It isn’t fair, but they do. No infringement intended.
Summary: That post-Endgame J/C conversation we’re all hoping they have. ;- )

Possibilities

by mizvoy

Chakotay made his way through the noisy crowd in the mess hall to Kathryn Janeway’s side and then propelled her into a quiet corner for a private chat. “Looks like the party’s getting a little wild, don’t you think?” he grinned down at her. “No telling what they’ll be getting up to.”

“Time for the captain to make an exit,” she nodded, her eyes sparkling with happiness, “before she sees some activities she has to do something about.”

“I’ll tag along,” he agreed as they headed for the starboard exit and into the relative quiet of the passageway. “I think this party has the potential to demand the first officer’s intervention, too.”

“The burdens of command,” she commiserated as they headed for the turbolift. They had been home for one day–a little over thirty-two hours– and they were beginning to realize that the ordeal of the Delta Quadrant was really and truly behind them. “Should we check the bridge before we retire to our quarters?”

“I think Tuvok can handle a standard orbit around Earth, don’t you?”

She smiled. “That sounds good–a standard orbit around Earth. For the longest time, I couldn’t take my eyes off of that beautiful blue planet.”

“The feeling’s mutual.” They were silent as they shared the turbolift with some of the crew, but the trip between deck two and three took all of three seconds before they were alone again. “A lot’s happened in the last few days, Kathryn. We need to talk.”

“All right. How about some coffee?”

He followed her into her quarters and collapsed with a sigh onto her sofa. “Make mine decaf. I want to be able to sleep eventually.”

“Piker,” she teased as she ordered the drinks and then sat down beside him. “I’m surprised you stayed on board tonight, Chakotay, when you could’ve gone with Seven to see her family.”

“They’re her family, not mine.” He gave her a questioning look. “You know about Seven and me?”

“The admiral dropped a few hints.” She peered at him over the rim of the cup, watching his reaction closely. “I’m guessing it’s serious?”

“Serious? Are you kidding?” He laughed in spite of his captain’s obvious embarrassment. Their return had forced him to reconsider the direction his life had been taking during his last weeks on Voyager. What had seemed to be a likely pairing with Seven of Nine had suddenly turned into something he needed to think about first. Everything was up in the air for all of them, and it was hardly the time to be limiting his options. Or Seven’s. “I don’t know what the admiral told you, but I wouldn’t call two kisses and a few dates serious, would you?”

“Normally, I wouldn’t.” She set the mug down on the coffee table, studiously avoiding his eyes. “But, you aren’t the type of man to entangle yourself in a relationship casually.”

Her strange, quiet reaction had him intrigued. “What did the admiral say about Seven and me?” he wondered aloud. When Kathryn gave him a panicked look, he dismissed her with a brief wave. “I know what you’re going to say- -Temporal Prime Directive–and that’s fine. I prefer the future to be a mystery, don’t you?”

She nodded mutely, relieved that he was letting her off the hook, relieved that the admiral hadn’t told him or Seven how serious they’d become in the admiral’s timeline. “I think all of our lives are going to be different, Chakotay.”

“I think so, too. So. Why aren’t you on Earth visiting your mother? She still lives in Indiana, right?”

“Oh, yes.” The crew members with families on Earth had been given the first chance to leave the ship for a short shore leave, while the rest of the crew stayed aboard and awaited their families’ arrival from more distant planets. She shifted in her seat and pointed toward the middle of the North American continent. “Our house is right about there.”

“Did you stay behind because you’re the captain?”

“I’m not that noble, Chakotay,” she chuckled. “Mom’s on Rigel 4 at a mathematics conference, and Phoebe lives on Alpha Century. I’ll see them and the rest of the family in a few days’ time, once we’re all in one place.”

“A mathematics conference?”

She gave him an innocent look. “Did I fail to mention that my mother is a math professor at Indiana University?”

He shook his head in disbelief. “I thought I knew everything about you after all these years. I knew your parents were traditionalists, that your dad was an admiral, that your mom preferred to cook rather than replicate her meals. But you never mentioned that she was a math professor.” He paused, giving her an appraising look. “You’ve been holding back.”

“It just never came up.”

“What other secrets have you been hiding from me?”

She winked at him, enjoying their relaxed banter. It had been awhile since they’d been so comfortable with each other, not since Quarra, and she was enjoying their talk very much. “You’ll just have to wait and find out.” She watched him drain the coffee and then, when she saw he was about to leave, she shifted into a delaying action. In another twenty-four hours, a nice, personal conversation like this might be impossible to arrange. “I’ve been meaning to ask you a question about last night.”

He settled back into the sofa cushions, his mind returning to the wild party the previous evening that had spilled out of the mess hall and into both holodecks before ending well after dawn. “Okay. Although I must remind you that certain portions of the evening remain a blur. I’m not sure if I was drunk or just emotionally overwhelmed.”

“I feel the same way. But, this was early, at the dinner. What exactly did B’Elanna mean when she thanked you for ‘protecting’ the senior staff from the captain?”

Her question caught him completely off guard. “I’m sure she meant that I was a go-between, don’t you? Isn’t that one of the first officer’s duties? To be a cushion between the captain and the rest of the crew?”

“Yes, it is. But she said ‘protecting,’ and I wondered what she meant by that?” He studied his hands as if he’d never seen them before, and Kathryn struggled to keep her patience. “Well?”

He decided to buy himself some time. “I don’t think it’s fair to play semantics when everyone had been drinking do you?”

“I don’t mean to play word games,” she continued, “but everyone laughed when B’Elanna said it, as if they were in on an inside joke.”

“Well, it is sort of a cliché.”

“What’s a cliché?”

“You know. How captains are.”

She narrowed her eyes. “Tell me.”

“You know, Kathryn. I shouldn’t have to explain it to you.”

She seemed really disappointed. “But I promised myself that I’d never be that kind of captain.”

“We all promise ourselves that.”

“But . . . .”

“But . . . I think a lot of the behavior comes with the territory. Captains tend to be demanding. They’re impatient perfectionists who want everything yesterday. And they’re sure they know the best course of action in every situation in spite of their staff’s reservations and objections.”

She thought about it, her face softening slightly. “Damn.”

“Oh, come on,” he teased, putting an arm around her shoulders. “I know that Captains have to be that way, and so does everyone else.”

She gave him a pitiful look. “I have really been hard on you, haven’t I? For seven long years.”

“I was just as tough as you are when I was a captain. I understand where you’re coming from.”

She stood up, walking to the viewport behind her dining area to give herself a little space, a little distance from this man who seemed to be able to read her mind. “That’s it, isn’t it? You know me so well.”

“Your mother’s ‘secret’ profession notwithstanding. I think you probably understand me, too.”

“I can’t remember working with anyone so long or so well.”

“Nor can I.” The silence between them was comfortable, if charged with emotion. They were both coming to the realization that their working relationship was probably coming to a swift end. He murmured, “An arranged marriage.”

“I beg your pardon?”

“When I was in pre-command school, our instructor, Commander Russell, talked about the relationship between the first officer and the captain as being an ‘arranged marriage.’ Quite often, they’re strangers when they assume their jobs, and both individuals have to learn the strengths and weaknesses of the other, learn to work together, find a balance that lets them express themselves without fear or reservation.” He laughed. “Russell said when it works well, it becomes a love match. When that happens, the command team tends to stay together.”

“Boitano and Mitchell,” she said, remembering the names of one of Starfleet’s most long-lived command teams.

“Halburton and Sanek.” Chakotay stood up and walked to her, standing behind her and gazing over her shoulder at their home planet. “Kirk and Spock.”

“They didn’t stay together, exactly.”

“No, but they kept coming back together at moments of crisis.”

She turned to face him, an inscrutable look on her face. “Janeway and Chakotay?”

“Why not?” He smiled down at her.

She leaned back against the window sill. “We weren’t exactly assigned to serve together on Voyager by Starfleet command. In fact, what could be a more unlikely pairing than me, the archetypal Starfleet captain, and you, a Maquis rebel? Who would think people so different would mesh so well?”

“We aren’t that different.”

“Aren’t we?” She stepped past him, returning to the living area and sitting down in her lounge chair. “Except for our Starfleet training, what do we really have in common?”

“A lot.” He crossed the room and sat down on the footstool facing her. “We’re both idealists. Your belief in Starfleet principles is what kept this ship from turning into the Equinox. We both know that we are what we believe, that our actions speak louder than words, and we judge people by their actions more than their words.”

“I guess so. You certainly put everything on the line when you left Starfleet for the Maquis. I always admired you for doing that, by the way– for acting on your convictions.”

“We’re both deep thinkers, philosophers.” He paused as she laughed, then glanced at her considerable library. “My studies might be more spiritual than yours, but give yourself credit, Kathryn. Your most recent fiancé was a philosopher, after all.”

“I think we have the same sense of humor,” she said, wiping tears of laughter from her eyes.

“And we both know the captain and first officer have to keep their distance.”

She grew quiet, studiously drawing a pattern on the arm of the chair with her finger. “I thought I was the only one who believed in that protocol.”

“If I hadn’t agreed with you, I would have applied more pressure.” He watched her finger move, his eyes unfocused. “If I didn’t see the logic behind it, I wouldn’t have taken ‘no’ for an answer.” Her head snapped up to look at him in surprise, but he was smiling. “After all, I am the one whose relationship with Seska nearly destroyed us. More than once.”

“You’re telling me that you agreed with the protocol?”

He shrugged. “I understood it. I didn’t want to, but I did.”

“I’ve felt so guilty about that. About refusing to look past friendship with you.”

“Well, don’t feel guilty any more. Okay?”

“Okay.” Kathryn was relieved to finally discuss this with him, and she could see that he was just as anxious as she was to get everything out in the open. “You know, I was very nearly overwhelmed by the attraction I felt toward you when we first met.” She was gratified to see a tiny blush creep up his neck. “For a long time I thought it was a purely physical reaction. You’re a very handsome male specimen, you know.”

“I’ll take your word for it,” he grinned, pulling his ear. “And, I do know what you mean. I was furious when Seska accused me of following you because I was attracted you. I finally made myself understand that I was angry with her because she was too close to the truth.” He sighed. “But I knew better than to have any real hope. You were engaged to be married. A full captain sent to throw me in the brig. My commanding officer. Unattainable.”

“How did we ever get past it? That attraction?”

“We pounded it into friendship. On New Earth and afterwards. Like pounding weapons into ploughshares.”

She laughed at the way he turned the allusion around. “I love talking to you,” she admitted, leaning forward and taking his hand. “May I tell you a secret?”

“I won’t tell.”

“In some ways, in spite of feeling guilty about stranding Voyager and the crew out there, I was glad to have the chance we did, to explore a region of space so remote. A whole new quadrant to study. Nobody telling me to return to a starbase to offload crew or ferry some diplomat around. A really outstanding crew. A demanding challenge.” She paused, suddenly shy. “You beside me.”

He shook his head in disbelief. “And here I thought you were consumed with the desire for home! I didn’t want to come back at all, Kathryn. To what? I’ll be lucky if they let me stay in Starfleet another twenty-four hours. This time next year I’ll probably be planet side somewhere digging in the dirt or teaching Introduction to Anthropology to a roomful of bored Freshmen.”

Kathryn laughed. “God forbid.”

His face grew serious. “There are other command teams we could be like, you know. Reynolds and Teller. Ashmore and Gallatin. Ehlar and Ehlar.”

She stared at him. All the names he’d mentioned were command teams who had made long term commitments to each other. One had even become a married couple. “What are you saying?” she whispered.

“It occurs to me, Kathryn, that for the first time in seven years, the sky’s the limit. Anything can happen between us. Anything.” He took her other hand, leaning imperceptibly closer to her and lowering his voice to a whisper. “I want all the possibilities on the table. Don’t you?”

She found that she was holding her breath, that she could hear her heart pounding in her ears. The attraction she’d always felt toward him, the love that she had managed to ignore for seven years welled up like a tsunami as tears filled her eyes. “All the possibilities?” she echoed.

His eyes were glittering with tears, too. “All of them.”

Neither seemed to move toward the other, and yet they kissed–a sweet, tentative kiss that held a promise of much more. They had seldom embraced in all their years together, and never once had they deliberately been this physically close, and yet it seemed quite natural and predictable. It seemed right. Predestined.

They pulled apart, their eyes locked. “This will have to develop slowly,” she whispered. “We still have so much to do before we can stop being captain and first officer.”

“Whatever you say, Captain,” he replied, his dimples on full display. “Right now, I think I could fly to San Francisco under my own power.”

She cupped his cheek in her hand, rubbing a thumb over his lips. “I feel the same way.”

He stood up and cleared his throat, offering her a hand. “It’s nearly 0100, much too late to talk this out tonight. We both need our sleep or we’ll end up frazzled.”

She let him pull her out of the seat and put his arms around her as she snuggled into his chest. “I just have one favor to ask.”

“Name it.”

“When Mom and Phoebe get home, come with me to Indiana. I think you should meet the family.”

He buried his face in her hair. “I’d love to meet the family, Kathryn.”

She looked over his shoulder at the beautiful blue planet beneath them. “Welcome home, Chakotay.”

The End