Disclaimer: Star Trek: Voyager and all things Starfleet belong to Paramount. No infringement intended.

Summary: Another take on the future following Endgame.

Safe Harbor

by Mizvoy

Chapter 6: Dorvan V

“Harry, give Neelix his ball back or I’ll bop you!” Miral ordered as she towered over her brothers with her hands on her hips.

From her perch on the Paris family’s patio, Kathryn Janeway laughed and turned to Tom Paris. “I wonder where Miral got her people skills?”

Tom glanced at the back yard where his seven-year-old daughter was playing with his two-year-old twin sons. “She thinks she’s their mother. She’s as bossy as her mother, anyway.”

“Well, she’s a natural for command.” Kathryn relaxed in the lounge chair and sipped her iced tea. “This is heaven, Tom. You have a beautiful family and a perfect setting here. In many ways, I envy you.”

A toddler screamed in frustration, “Miri took my ball. Daddy! Miri took my ball!”

“Miral,” Tom chided, “let them work out their own problems or go inside.” He scowled. “There are times, Kathryn, that I’d swap places with you in a heartbeat. At least one of them interrupts our sleep every night. They walk right into the bathroom without thinking to knock. You’d be amazed how much territory a wash rag can cover. Yesterday I had to scrape oatmeal off of the kitchen ceiling. I won’t even tell you about scooping floaters out of the bathtub.”

“Please, stop!” Kathryn was doubled over with laughter. “And I don’t even want to know what ‘floaters’ are in a bathtub.”

He laughed with her, but then grew serious. “However, when they’re tired and snuggle up with me for a bedtime story, when they look up at me with B’Elenna’s big brown eyes, when they come to me for comfort and help, trusting that I know just what to do. . . .”

“I know,” she said, interrupting him. “Those times make the other hassles all worthwhile.”

“Right.”

Kathryn watched the children playing with a wistful look on her face. She’d given up on the possibility of children when Voyager had been flung into the far reaches of the Delta Quadrant, yet there were still times when she longed to hold a child of her own. “I felt the same way about being a ship’s captain,” she told him. “Not that there’s really any similarity.”

“I disagree. Parenting is a lot like command. It’s just that, on most ships, the captain doesn’t rock the senior staff to sleep every night.”

She laughed. “No. That wouldn’t happen.”

“So, what do you think of Dorvan, Kathryn?”

She thought about her three-week stay on the planet. During the first two weeks, she’d met most of the government officials and the command group of the militia. She’d toured their military installations, factories, power plants, and farms, meeting literally hundreds of people. She’d eaten at private homes, restaurants, banquets, and receptions. Everywhere she went, she found an unquenchable attitude of optimism, a willingness to work together for the common good, and an acceptance of outsiders, all of which spoke well for their eventual membership in the Federation.

“I’ve been impressed, Tom. When you consider how much has been done here since the Cardassians left the planet in shambles, well, it’s nearly a miracle. I imagine Dorvan will be given immediate provisional membership.”

“I’m glad to hear it.”

“The Voyager crew’s been instrumental in the progress, Tom. I can see B’Elanna’s and Seven’s hand in most of the modern facilities.”

He nodded. “It helped to have something to focus our energies on after all those years together on Voyager. We’d all worked toward getting home for so long that we needed another goal. Restoring Dorvan filled the bill.”

“Some of their innovations are going to be used throughout the Federation, you know. We’re going to miss Seven’s unique approach to problem solving.”

“Yeah. Thanks to her years with the Borg, she brought the experience of thousands of species to every problem.”

“It’s been wonderful seeing the crew again. Thank you for organizing the reunion for me this last week.”

“My pleasure. I like to get together with everyone, too. You know, show off Miral and the miracles.”

“Too bad Chakotay couldn’t be here.”

Tom Paris sensed the barely repressed emotion in her voice and cursed under his breath. Chakotay had returned from earth and headed immediately for the dig on Dorvan IV without talking to anyone. B’Elanna had tried and failed to find out what was on his mind, eventually chalking it up to his continued mourning for his wife.

The dig went well, but when Chakotay realized that they’d need to stay for a second summer season, he’d volunteered to stay behind and keep the delicate survey equipment safe and warm through the bitterly cold winter. Otherwise, the machines would have to be taken by shuttle to Dorvan V and then brought back in the spring, an expensive and time- consuming operation.

The problem was that travel and communication with the dig would be nearly impossible during the next two months. Solar flares, ion storms, and a volatile electro-magnetic atmosphere guaranteed a lonely exile. The planet, once as lush and fertile as Earth, had been devastated centuries earlier by a passing comet. The remains of the city now located at the south pole would be a scientific coup that would insure the team a place in the history books, and Chakotay wasn’t about to give up.

Before Tom could reply, B’Elanna burst out of the house. “That Chakotay,” she said, boiling with anger. “I told him you’d be leaving soon, Kathryn, but he says he can’t leave the dig. The worst of the weather is setting in, and he’s afraid that if he left, he wouldn’t be able to return and monitor the equipment.” She could see the disappointment on Kathryn’s face. “He said to tell you he’s sorry.”

“What about the last supply run?” Tom asked. They had a shuttle full of equipment, food, and power cells to deliver to the dig. “Are we going to be able to get the stuff to him?”

“We’ve moved the flight up to tomorrow to be on the safe side.”

Their conversation was interrupted by a sudden torrent of tears from Neelix, who had rubbed his eyes with a sandy fist. “Looks like the boys are tired,” Tom said, getting up from his chair. “I’ll put them down for a nap while you girls talk.”

Once Tom hauled the squalling boys into the house, the only sound to be heard was Miral singing quietly to herself at the very top of the tree. Kathryn smiled, remembering all of her blissful childhood days in the trees that surrounded her home in Indiana.

“If it’s any consolation,” B’Elanna said, turning to her former captain, “I don’t think he’s avoiding you on purpose. He volunteered to do this before we knew you were coming.”

Kathryn wanted to agree, but couldn’t speak. She was sure her voice would betray her bitter disappointment, so she just nodded and sipped her tea.

“He’s always felt guilty about Seven of Nine,” B’Elanna continued. “I think he’s still coming to terms with her death.”

“Guilty?” Kathryn said, echoing her words. “What did he have to feel guilty about?”

“You weren’t around them much. I never thought they were well suited for each other.”

“As I recall, you and Seven never really got along.”

“True enough, but Seven was always so controlled, so methodical, while Chakotay was intuitive and impulsive. She had no interest in his passions—anthropology and history—and barely understood why he bothered with them. She was all technology, a language he could speak, of course, but not on her level. They didn’t have much in common.”

“Opposites attract.”

“Normally, I’d agree, and they were fine when they were focused on the same project or problem.”

“I thought they were happily married.” Kathryn felt an unease growing in the pit of her stomach. Wasn’t this what the admiral had wanted? Hadn’t she come back to restore to the couple the happiness Seven’s untimely death had denied them?

“Oh, they got along fine. They worked at it. But, she had no interest in his work, and they didn’t talk much about the issues that occupied his mind. Chakotay often came to me when he was thinking through a problem instead of turning to her. When I asked him about it, he said that there were some portions of Seven’s humanity that she’d never regain.” B’Elanna sighed. “He said that he sometimes felt the most lonely when it was just the two of them.”

Kathryn frowned. “I don’t understand. Seven grappled with thorny issues on Voyager, and she and I often argued about them. Usually in the wee hours of the morning.”

“Oh, she discussed issues that were important to her and her work. She just wasn’t open to those that didn’t weren’t of concern to her, things that she deemed unworthy of the effort.”

Kathryn chuckled. “I can just imagine what she’d say. ‘The issue is irrelevant.’”

“Words to that effect.”

“You worked closely with her for years.”

“I did, and I came to admire her. But something, an empathy, was always missing. She simply hadn’t lived through what most of us do as we grow up. She wasn’t someone to turn to in a time of personal crisis because she usually didn’t have a similar experience to relate it to.”

“Mama! I’m hungry!” Miral swung down from the lowest tree branch and put her fists on her hips. “Isn’t it time for lunch?”

“Bossy little thing, isn’t she?” B’Elanna laughed. “Honey, can’t you see that Mommy’s busy talking?”

“Oh, go ahead,” Kathryn said, smiling at the little girl. “She’s hungry and wants to eat. I’ll just sit here and enjoy the weather. We’ll finish our talk once she’s eaten.”

“If you’re sure.”

“Of course, I’m sure.” Kathryn watched the mother and daughter walk into the house and then turned to her thoughts. She’d never considered the possibility that Chakotay’s marriage was anything but blissful. Apparently, the couple had been happy together in Admiral Janeway’s future, but that was a different time and place and for a much shorter period of time. Perhaps the limited world of Voyager with its common goal of getting home had kept them close, kept them focused on a shared problem.

She could still see the admiral when they’d met in the mess hall and finally joined forces against the Borg. They’d sketched out the basic elements of the plan that eventually got Voyager home, talking well into the night, but once they’d finished, the admiral had lingered. Kathryn knew something was on her mind and waited patiently until the older woman was ready to vocalize it.

The admiral turned away from her, looking out the viewport toward the stars. “I know, Captain, exactly how you feel about Chakotay. I probably know better than you do how you feel.”

Kathryn felt a blush crawl up her neck and was glad the admiral wasn’t looking at her. “Go ahead,” she whispered.

“I know that the news about his involvement with Seven must have shaken you as much as hearing about Seven’s death did. That’s why I told you, to manipulate you into doing what I wanted you to do.” She paused a long time, studying the coffee in her mug. “We’ve made dozens of decisions that have brought about this result, Captain, decisions that were right, necessary, even imperative for the proper management of the ship and crew. I’ve learned to live with the consequences of those decisions, and so must you.”

Kathryn had nodded. “I understand.”

The admiral had turned to face her. “I don’t think you do. I don’t think you know yourself as well as you think you do.”

She had fought back an angry retort. “Is this from memory, or are you trying to manipulate me again?”

“Memory. Up till now, you’ve always sealed off your feelings for Chakotay. You think you’ve mastered them, but you’ve underestimated their power. You think you can stand alone and face any challenge, don’t you? You think you’re complete within your own skin. The Consummate Captain.”

Kathryn had tossed her hair in defiance. “Perhaps you don’t remember as clearly as you thought.”

The admiral had given her the same crooked smile she’d seen in the mirror a thousand times. “You forget who you’re talking to. I may be old, but my memory is fine. I didn’t come back to give you ‘one last chance for happiness,’ if that’s what you think. This isn’t about you. It’s about them.” She had swept her arm widely, taking in the whole ship. “There are things you cannot and should not change.”

Now it was Kathryn’s turn for the crooked smile. “A surprising piece of advice, Admiral, considering that your actions are changing a couple of decades of your past.”

The admiral’s glare had shocked her back to reality. Dear God, was that the look that made her subordinates snap to attention? “You have no idea how difficult this will be, Captain. Their relationship is already well underway. It’s a fact and you must brace yourself to see them together.”

Kathryn’s eyes had widened in surprise. She hadn’t thought of that, of seeing them together, and the thought of it hit her hard. “Go on.”

“He isn’t being disloyal to you, so don’t think that way. He’s simply moved on.” She gave her younger self a long look, her face softening slightly. “It’s what you’ve wanted him to do.”

“Yes.” She’d always felt guilty about her inability to reciprocate his obvious affection for her. She’d struggled hard to keep her feelings private, even while she kept their relationship close, but formal. It had been a nearly impossible task at first, but, with time, she’d managed it. “Yes, it is what I’ve wanted.”

“An easy sacrifice to accept when the trip home could take decades, when you couldn’t imagine ever being free of all this responsibility. But, Captain, what if you got home tomorrow? Would you be so ready for him to move on?”

She’d found that couldn’t even think about it and fought back a burgeoning sense of fear. “I don’t know.”

“My point exactly,” the admiral had continued, sitting down across from her at the table and taking Kathryn’s hands in her own. “Don’t make the same mistakes I did.”

Kathryn had stared at the two sets of fingers and nails, identical except for the older woman’s mottled skin and prominent veins. They hadn’t touched before, and she was surprised at how cold the admiral’s hands were. “What mistakes?”

“I’ve told you about the fatal away mission and my part in it, but my mistakes started long before that. I let his marriage to Seven damage our friendship. I knew I’d pushed him away, knew I had to do it, yet I couldn’t bear to see them together, see them holding hands, see them looking intimately into each other’s eyes. I had no choice but to perform the damned wedding ceremony.” Her face hardened as she looked at Kathryn. “Don’t interfere. Don’t make them feel guilty. Seven needs him, and he needs her. Find your strength in knowing that they’re truly happy together. Promise me.”

Kathryn nodded, a lump in her throat. “I promise.”

“Now, listen.” The admiral had leaned closer, her face suddenly sympathetic, her eyes kind. She’d squeezed Kathryn’s hands with affection. “Do whatever it takes to keep your friendship with Chakotay alive. No matter what decisions he makes, no matter how many arguments you have, even if you suspect that he’s deliberately trying to hurt you, swallow your pride, take the blame, crawl to him and beg for his forgiveness. You can’t stand alone, and you aren’t complete within your skin, Captain. You need him. His presence in your life is the key to your happiness. He balances you, understands you as no one else ever will.” Tears filled her eyes. “You don’t want to live without him. You can’t. Promise me.”

Kathryn was shocked by the emotion in the older woman’s face and voice, shocked by the implications of her words. Would Chakotay, could Chakotay ever deliberately try to hurt her? “He’s dead, isn’t he? Your Chakotay’s dead.”

A tear fell down the admiral’s cheek. “A couple of months ago. I always thought we’d patch things up, that we’d be close friends again, but we ran out of time. We’d said and done too many things to each other.” She took her hands back, brushed the tears from her eyes with her fingers. “You haven’t promised yet.”

“I promise.”

“Good.” She relaxed, looked around the mess hall, studying it, lifting her nose into the air and sniffing. “I can smell leola root.”

Kathryn smiled. “There are some odors that seem to permeate solid aluminum.”

“You can’t smell it on my Voyager any more. I never thought I’d miss it, but I do.” She sighed, drained her coffee, and stood up. “It’s your crew, Captain, so I’ll let you organize them for our mission. The sooner the better, or the Queen will adapt to the future technology.”

“Aye, Admiral. Right away.”

The older woman had paused and cupped Kathryn’s face in her palm, using their given name for the only time in their brief acquaintance. “Whatever your future holds, Kathryn, don’t be afraid to be happy. If you get the chance for happiness, grab it with both hands.” She’d smiled into the younger woman’s face and then left the room.

Now, seven years later, Kathryn sat on the Paris’ patio studying her hands, remembering the older identical pair that had grasped hers with such affection. Because Seven and Chakotay had moved away, she hadn’t had to watch their love affair blossom the way the admiral had, she hadn’t had to perform their wedding ceremony or observe their married life. Instead, she had buried herself in her work. If she’d used her traveling to distance herself from Richard, she’d also used it to insulate herself Chakotay and Seven’s marriage. It wasn’t coincidence, she realized, that her travels were always away from Dorvan, in the opposite direction. It wasn’t by chance that this was only her second visit to the planet in seven years.

But she knew that the distance and the years apart had made it possible for her to retain her close friendship with Chakotay, and that his friendship had sustained her just as the admiral had predicted. Wasn’t that why she was here now? To make sure their friendship was still alive? Didn’t she still need him as much as ever, maybe more than ever?

“B’Elanna,” she said, starting for the kitchen, a plan forming in her mind. “I have an idea.”