Disclaimer: Star Trek: Voyager and all things Starfleet belong to Paramount. No infringement intended.

Summary: Another take on the future following Endgame.

Safe Harbor

by Mizvoy

Chapter 14: First Contact, Part 4 (conclusion)

Kathryn Janeway was not the emotional type, even as a child, and years of Starfleet training had taught her to react logically to the most dreadful events, to think on her feet, to push emotion away and deal with it at a later time, when action was no longer needed, when the catastrophe was over. Her years on Voyager had only strengthened that natural tendency. Time and again, she’d faced disaster with a cool demeanor, knowing that her calm attitude on the bridge was essential to the crew, to her younger, less experienced officers who tended to panic.

She’d seen a nearly a fifth of her crew killed when the ship was snatched into the Delta Quadrant. Three times, she’d lost control of the ship-to the Kazon, to the Hirogen, and to the Maquis portion of her own crew-without so much as a whimper. Through dozens of catastrophes, she’d kept herself and her crew focused on finding a solution and left the emotions for later. She’d had to face those feelings eventually, of course. Most of the time, she found release in some sort of vigorous physical activity, perhaps tennis or velocity on the holodeck, but only rarely did she resort to tears of rage and frustration in the privacy of her ready room or her quarters, and never in the presence of her crew. She never exhibited the depth of her feelings to her crew. Never.

However, the sight of Chakotay’s face on the Okingala news report was overwhelming in an unexpected way. He was here, in harm’s way, because he’d come to rescue them, and she was powerless to offer him any kind of assistance. His actions, and Tom’s, too, were personal and touching and breathtaking, emotions too powerful to be ignored. She felt as if her heart had exploded in her chest, as if the atmosphere had been drained of oxygen, as if the gravity of the planet itself had shifted, leaving her light-headed and off-balance. She swayed slightly on her feet until she felt Dee’s arm slip around her waist, leading her to the sofa.

“Kathryn, you’re as white as a sheet. Sit down before you faint.”

She looked up at the Bajoran woman. “I’m not hallucinating? This isn’t a dream?”

Kathryn had often dreamed that Chakotay was with her. Almost every night, she sensed his presence in her sleep and awakened the next morning surprised to find the bed beside her cold and empty. Three times in the last six months she’d followed a tall, dark-headed man through Renden’s streets, quickening her pace to catch his attention, only to have the stranger smile at her indulgently when she realized her mistake and backed away, stuttering an apology. There had even been moments of drowsiness when she thought she’d heard his voice speaking her name and had awakened fully alert, expecting to find him smiling down at her. Had those moments of longing finally broken through to her conscious mind?

Dee nodded at the screen. “Are you asking whether Tom and Chakotay are really here? They are unless we’re both having the same nightmare.”

Well, Kathryn remembered, shared dreams were possible, but unlikely. Once Voyager’s entire crew had been trapped in a single dream, but that had been light years away from here. She shook her head, her mind struggling to deal with the reality before her. “How can this be?”

“Arturis?” Dee guessed, sitting down beside her. “Maybe Starfleet sent Arturis to find out what happened to us?”

Kathryn considered that possibility. Of course, it would have to be Arturis. But, Starfleet had refused to allow civilians on Dauntless’ routine test flight to the Delta Quadrant, in spite of her best efforts to include them. Would they send civilians on a military mission like this-to seek out a ship that had mysteriously disappeared 30,000 light years away? For all they knew, Dauntless had been destroyed by a hostile fire from a Delta Quadrant predator and any reconnaissance vessel would meet the same fate.

“Arturis can hold only four people comfortably, Dee. I can’t imagine that that Starfleet would send Tom and Chakotay on a dangerous rescue mission like this, can you?”

“Not really. But, whether I believe it or not, they’re here.”

“Yes. And, they’re under arrest.”

They watched the screen as the reporter interviewed some of the people who’d witnessed the arrest and who’d shared the transport from the Crossroads with the aliens. One woman holding a baby spoke into the microphone while the infant tried to grab it with a sticky hand. “They seemed nice,” the mother said, “especially the man with the brown eyes. I couldn’t get my baby to stop crying, and he took her and walked her up and down the passageway until she went to sleep.” The woman shivered visibly, clutching the infant to her chest. “I had no idea what kind of risk I was taking with my baby’s life.”

Dee groaned. “Those two don’t realize what kind of danger they’re in, Kathryn. They’ll be charged with capital crimes, tried for invading Okingala space. The crowd would like to lynch them right now.”

“Years ago, Voyager avoided the Empire because of their xenophobia and incredibly complex bureaucracy,” Kathryn said, deep in thought. “I imagine Chakotay remembers that and took it into account before he arrived.”

“Do you think he knows we’re here?”

“I have no idea. Maybe. They might have been able to trace us, if they knew we survived.”

The news bulletin ended, and Dee replayed it, slowing the feed when the humans’ faces appeared. “Look at the curious expressions on their faces,” she said. “They aren’t scared at all. You’d think they were here for shore leave or something.”

Dee was right. Both men looked as though they were studying their surroundings intently and without fear, in spite of their bloodied noses and split lips, in spite of the surging, surly crowd surrounding them. Kathryn had seen that look on Chakotay’s face many times before, on Voyager’s bridge and since then, as well, when he studied a new culture and carefully assessed it. He had a calculating look, an expectant one. He wasn’t afraid, but was observing, taking mental notes, deciding what to do next.

Suddenly she understood. “First contact.”

Dee leaned forward. “First contact?”

“He’s dealing with this as if it’s a first contact situation.” Kathryn smiled, suddenly relieved. “And, of course, for him, that’s exactly what it is.”

“You’re forgetting about Dauntless, Kathryn.”

“But they weren’t on Dauntless.” She stood up and began to pace, her mind carefully sifting through Starfleet protocols. “What’s the primary rule of first contact?”

As a good Starfleet officer, Dee had been drilled on these details until she’d memorized them. “Always attempt to enter first contact territories legally.”

“Exactly. And that was part of our problem. Dauntless didn’t do that, and in a culture whose distant past includes surprise attacks from subspace corridors by the Vaduaar, it’s a cardinal sin.” She stopped and put her hands on her hips. “But Tom and Chakotay came in on a civilian transport from the Crossroads. With valid papers and a clear entry trail across the frontier.”

Dee nodded, thinking through the problem. “So why haven’t they said so? Why are they letting themselves be arrested and thrown in jail like this?”

Before Kathryn could answer, they heard loud thumping on the door and the voice of their landlord yelling to them. “Open up! There’s a man from the transport depot who wants to talk to you!”

“Oh, no!” Dee exclaimed, her hand to her mouth. “They’ve found us.”

The police vehicle was cool and quiet following the chaos of the nearly riotous crowd at the transport station. Chakotay sat back on the bench and brought his shackled hands up to gently wipe the blood from his swollen lip. “Well, that could’ve gone worse.”

“Speak for yourself.” Tom gently tilted his head and sniffed. “I think my nose is broken.”

Chakotay shuffled over to sit beside him on the other side of the paddy wagon. “Let me see.”

Tom winced as Chakotay studied his face and gently poked his swollen nose with bunched fingers. “Do you think they’ll let me see a medic? I’d hate to lose my good looks.”

Chakotay laughed. “It’s not broken, pretty boy, so you can relax.”

They sat back side by side, the vehicle gently rocking them as they were taken across the city to the alien holding facility. They were sitting close enough to talk quietly, under their breaths, their words muffled by the road noise and the steady hum of the engine.

“So you really think they’re on Renden?” Tom asked.

“I talked to B’Elanna just before I ditched the commbadge. She said they picked up the emergency beacon’s signal again yesterday for nearly thirty minutes, no more than a kilometer from the transport station where we were arrested.” He closed his eyes and sighed. Could he have been that close to Kathryn? “They’re on Renden all right.”

“I hate to say this, but Neelix bought a lot of scrap from the shuttle. Isn’t it possible that someone purchased the beacon on the black market and is just figuring out how to use it?”

Chakotay shrugged, but was unwilling to be disillusioned. “It’s possible, I guess, but I doubt it. I think it came from Kathryn and Fran Delia.”

“We know they took nothing with them from the shuttle. Where would an emergency beacon come from?”

“Maybe it was a hobby, something to fill the time. You don’t really think that Kathryn Janeway plans to spend the rest of her life in the Okingala Empire, do you?” He glanced at Tom, and then spent a few moments trying to get his manacled hands into a comfortable position before finally giving up. “After all, what did B’Elanna do on our trip out here? She built a copy of the cloaking device Admiral Janeway brought from the future.”

“Yeah. And that’s come in pretty handy.”

“Kathryn’s probably trying to figure out how to get home, and a beacon is something that might just come in handy, too.”

“Maybe it already has?”

“I hope so.”

Tom tried to relax. “How long before they figure out we aren’t the ones they’re looking for?”

“Long enough, I hope. It’ll take a day or two for them to trace us back through the Sanshaa sector. Plenty of time for Neelix to do his thing.”

“I’d hoped I’d never be back in prison again.”

Chakotay grinned. “What’s that old Terran saying? ‘Hope springs eternal’? Maybe this is your last time.”

The vehicle came to a stop. The driver talked to someone outside before they heard a series of buzzers, and then the vehicle began moving slowly forward.

“I sure hope we didn’t miss dinner,” Tom joked as the prison gates slammed shut behind them.

A few moments later, the back doors flew open and a glaring light was shown into their faces, making it impossible to see. They held their manacled hands in front of their faces as four huge men climbed into the vehicle and grabbed them roughly by the arms, dragging them down the ramp into the darkness.

Four disruptors were aimed at their heads. “Do something so I can kill you,” one of the guards sneered.

“Come here and I’ll give you a kiss,” Tom sneered. Chakotay braced himself and closed his eyes as two guards rushed them, hitting them with the butts of their rifles, sending them into oblivion.

Kathryn and Dee stood perfectly still, staring at each other with the vidscreen noise in the background. There was only one way out of the apartment-through the doorway-and the landlord must know that they were at home.

“Sounds like the vid’s on,” they heard the landlord say to someone standing with him outside the door. “Maybe they’re in the back room.” He beat on the door again. “Hey, open up.”

“Perhaps I can help,” another man chimed in, raising his voice. “I’m looking for passengers who can also serve as maintenance workers on my way through the Empire. I heard you were thinking of leaving and that you needed a job.”

Kathryn grabbed Dee’s arm. “Neelix!” she whispered as she moved toward the door. “It sounds like Neelix.”

The two women walked together to the door and opened it, only to find the landlord and Neelix standing in the hallway. “Sorry to disturb you ladies,” the landlord said, “but I knew you were vacating the apartment tomorrow and were looking for a job on a transport vessel. Hope you don’t mind that I let this guy know about that.”

Dee found her tongue first as Kathryn simply stared in amazement at the Talaxian. “Thanks, Geondi. We appreciate all you’ve done.”

“Won’t you come in?” Kathryn offered.

The landlord disappeared down the hall as Neelix stepped into the tiny apartment, closing the door behind him. “I’ve finally found you,” he exclaimed, throwing his arms around the admiral. “I’ve been looking for you for months!”

“Neelix.” Kathryn hugged him back, ignoring the tears that spilled down her face as she pulled away to introduce her roommate. “Come in, come in. This is Fran Delia.”

“A pleasure,” Neelix shook her hand, even though his eyes kept straying to Kathryn’s face. “You make a good Bajoran, Admiral.”

“It’s Kathryn,” she said, nervously fingering her nose ridges. She led him to the living area where the news video on Tom and Chakotay’s arrest continued. “We were watching the news broadcast. Do you know about the arrest?”

“I was there.” Neelix settled on the sofa next to Kathryn.

“You let this happen?”

“Well, not exactly. We planned to find you without having to mess with the government. But this is the Okingala Empire, you know. A real bureaucracy, so Chakotay was prepared for anything. He thought they might be apprehended.” He glanced around the room. “This is a tiny apartment for two people, Kathryn.”

She looked around and shrugged. “I think of it as cozy. We were trying to save most of our money for transportation out of here.”

“Geondi said you were saving up to return to Bajor?” His face was incredulous. “Not really?”

“They don’t know Bajor is in the Alpha Quadrant, just far away,” Kathryn laughed. “We were actually trying to get to your colony.”

“I thought as much. I’m licensed to transport people and supplies through the Empire, and I could use your ‘help.’ Because I’m an independent contractor, I can bypass most of the red tape, including DNA testing.”

“What about Tom and Chakotay?” Dee asked. “We can’t leave them behind.”

“We won’t, but, for now, we’re going to leave them where they are.”

“They looked like they’d been beaten up,” Kathryn tried and failed to keep the worry out of her voice. “You said you were there. What happened?”

“It’s unfortunate that they found Lt. Munro’s body when they did. When Tom and Chakotay were subjected to the DNA scan during in-processing, they were, of course, identified as human. The officials and other people in the area assumed they were the other two who’d been on Dauntless. Some of the people expected them to resist arrest and got a little too enthusiastic at subduing them. They weren’t attacked as much as they were just pushed around. I don’t think either of them was seriously injured.”

“How can we just go off and leave them like that?” Every instinct in Kathryn’s body told her to stay.

“Chakotay said that if they were arrested I was to tell you not to worry. I’m supposed to take you with me and leave everything up to the team.”

“The team,” Kathryn echoed. “Just who else is involved?”

“B’Elanna and Mike Ayala.”

Kathryn couldn’t disguise her amazement. “You mean that Starfleet let those four bring the Arturis out here alone? I don’t believe it.”

“Well, I don’t actually think they had Starfleet’s permission.”

“They stole the ship.” Kathryn said it with finality, her eyes wide with surprise. “They stole Arturis.”

“Chakotay said they ‘borrowed’ it. But not until after Starfleet refused to send the ship to look for you.” Neelix put his arm around Kathryn to comfort her. “What was it you once told Naomi? A Starfleet captain keeps his/her shirt tucked in, always goes down with the ship, and . . . .”

“Never leaves anyone behind.”

“That’s right. Chakotay said that he wasn’t about to leave anyone stranded out here. So, he ‘borrowed’ the ship.” Neelix stood up and clapped his hands together. “Looks like you’re already packed. What do you say we beam onto my ship? I have a delicious leola root casserole I’m anxious for you to taste.”

“Leola root?” Dee turned to Kathryn. “Isn’t that the stuff you told me about?”

“You told her about leola root?” Neelix seemed pleased. “I hope it lives up to your expectations.”

“I hope it doesn’t,” Dee mumbled, rolling her eyes as Kathryn struggled to keep from laughing out loud.

Neelix’s ship meandered toward the Empire’s border, occasionally stopping at likely trading spots, but doing nothing that would bring undue attention to itself. To Kathryn Janeway, the ten days seemed like the longest in her life–they were traveling farther away from Chakotay and Tom and the drama unfolding around them in the capital city. She took her turns on the bridge and pulled duty in engineering, but then she retreated to the tiny quarters she shared with Dee to watch the newsvids from Renden.

First Contact follows an expected pattern, and this one was fairly predictable. Tom and Chakotay were discovered to be legal aliens just two days after their arrest, guilty only of sharing DNA with a man who’d been on Dauntless, hardly a capital offense. Still considered dangerous, they were moved to minimal security facility where they could be interviewed by government agents anxious to determine whether they were accomplices in a foiled invasion of Okingala space or whether they were simply travelers who happened to be of the same species.

Kathryn had been on bridge duty for hours when Dee burst onto the bridge. “You have to go below and watch the broadcast! They’re going to interview Chakotay! I’ll finish your tour. Go!”

Kathryn hurried to their quarters where the journalist was in the midst of his interview. She sat down on her bunk, her eyes fixed on her husband’s face, anxious to hear his voice again after all these months. He looked healthy enough. The injuries from the time of his arrest were well healed, and she hoped he hadn’t received any more during his time in prison.

“Perhaps you can tell us, Professor Chakotay, why we shouldn’t fear this ship– Dauntless, did you call it?–that invaded Rencasi space?”

Chakotay’s voice washed over her, and she brushed tears from her eyes as she listened to him calmly discuss this terrible situation. “Think about the location in Rencasi territory where Dauntless emerged from subspace. Could there be a less strategic location in the Empire? If this had been an invasion, why not begin here at Renden, in the heart of the Empire? Why not close to a military hub? Or near an economic center? Why only one ship instead of an armada? Obviously, Dauntless was not here to challenge the Empire or to cause any problems whatsoever. It was on a peaceful mission of exploration.”

The interviewer nodded, accepting the logic of the argument. “So, what happened, do you think?”

“I think that an enemy from our quadrant of space sabotaged or attacked the ship when it was most vulnerable, before it could contact the local authorities and make peaceful first contact. What happened there was not war, but tragedy, the loss of a ship full of scientists attempting to test a form of propulsion that could bring our peoples into close, productive association.”

Perfect. Kathryn watched him in admiration as he continued the interview, wishing she could be there beside him. He’d done this so many times during their exile in the Delta Quadrant, yet she’d seldom been able to observe him work in person, even though she’d suspected that he was a master.

“Okingala officials believe that two individuals, humans like you, survived the initial explosion. Do you think, Professor, that there were other survivors? And if so, should we fear them?”

A momentary look of sadness crossed Chakotay’s face. “I hope someone survived. If they did, I’m sure they’re simply trying to find a way home. They must know that your people are searching for them, wanting to arrest them for something that you have misinterpreted as an aggressive act. I sincerely hope that if and when they’re found, they’ll be treated with kindness and consideration, not prosecution. They’ve been through enough.”

Hours later, when Dee’s shift ended, she found Kathryn fast asleep on the bunk, the news article repeating automatically on the vidscreen. Dee thought it was sweet that she’d fallen asleep to the sound of her husband’s voice. She seemed so small and vulnerable when asleep, yet such a powerhouse when awake. It was this contradiction that had fascinated Fran Delia from the very first time she’d met Admiral Janeway. On duty, she was “impervious to warp core breeches,” as B’Elanna Torres joked, yet off duty she was gracious and warm, with a wonderful sense of humor.

When Kathryn had arrived on earth to take over command of the Slipstream project, rumors were swirling about her exile on Dorvan IV with her former first officer. Some of Voyager’s former crew speculated that the two had finally followed through on the obvious attraction that had started in the Delta Quadrant, but others scoffed at the idea. Kathryn seemed oblivious to the rumors and immersed herself in her work. She’d been a typical admiral-hard working, tireless, proactive, and stubborn-yet Dee had seen sadness in her eyes and distance in her manner that had made her wonder what could be wrong.

In the early months after the admiral’s arrival, Dee had served as her aide-de-camp until Ensign Connor came on board. She’d taken care of lots of administrative details, smoothing the admiral’s workday and generally being someone who could counted on to take care of last minute needs and requests. Kathryn had been less demanding than most admirals, but Dee still made sure to get to work early enough to have a fresh pot of coffee brewed. When Kathryn walked into her office, Dee was usually following her with a steaming mug ready for her immediate consumption.

Kathryn would habitually check her mail as Dee rattled off the day’s schedule changes, planned trips, unexpected meetings, important messages, and all the other demands on her time. More often than not, the admiral looked up from her view screen, sighed, and plunged into the work. But some mornings, her face would light up and she’d shoo Dee out of the office while she “caught up on some personal correspondence.”

Those were the best days, when Kathryn would seem less haunted, when her wicked sense of humor emerged and the team found themselves humming at their desks. Dee had been desperate to find out what made the admiral so happy and their work so pleasant, but Kathryn’s private life was strictly private, and she wouldn’t tolerate intrusive personal questions.

Now, Dee realized that the admiral must have found a message from Chakotay waiting for her on those happy mornings. As she looked back over her years on the team, she realized what a positive impact he’d had on the admiral’s mood and attitude, how he’d quietly helped her deal with the pressures and stresses of her incredibly challenging job. Was it possible that this woman, who seemed both indestructible and unflappable, actually needed someone to support her? The word “vulnerable” just didn’t seem to fit Dee’s image of her boss.

Only in Chakotay’s presence did she exhibit vulnerability. Dee remembered the first time she’d seen it, a few weeks after the Kathryn had brought him to the family picnic in Marin County. The team had been through a disastrous morning, and Kathryn was angry, annoyed, and exasperated. The staff was tip-toeing around the outer office, hoping to avoid any further confrontations before the end of the day, only to look up and find Chakotay walking cheerfully toward them, his dimples in clear view.

“Not the best day, sir,” Ensign Connor warned him, peering into the inner office where Kathryn stood staring out the window behind her desk. “The last three people who walked in there left with their heads in their hands.”

Chakotay gave him a grin. “Don’t worry, Ensign. I won’t hold you responsible for anything that happens.” With that he strode into the office, brushing past Dee, who was making a fast exit. He held a finger to his lips for silence, obviously wanting to surprise the admiral, and Dee paused at the door to watch the fireworks.

Kathryn’s posture advertised the tension she felt. Her arms were crossed in front of her and her shoulders were slightly hunched. She’d just been chewed out by Admiral Travers over some minor administrative oversight and had resisted the urge to vent her resentment on her overworked staff for his nitpicking attitude. She was just about to turn around when she noticed Chakotay’s reflection in the window as he walked up behind her. He slipped his arms around her waist and pulled her into an embrace.

“Chakotay,” she sighed, relaxing into him, her eyes closing. “What a nice surprise.”

“Your staff seemed to think you’d take my head off.”

She turned in his arms to look up at him with a crooked grin. “I’ve been on the warpath, I’m afraid.”

“Travers again.”

“Travers again.” She looked exposed and vulnerable, a complete change from the woman who’d practically had smoke coming out her ears just moments before. Dee’s mouth fell open with surprise. “Chakotay, I think he must be a Kazon in disguise.”

Dee knew she should leave and pull the door shut behind her, but she was fascinated by the change in the admiral’s voice and manner, by the easy intimacy of the relationship. Chakotay had walked up to the admiral and pulled her into an embrace without a second’s hesitation. It was incredible to think that Kathryn’s last words to Dee had been stern and forceful, directing her to find out exactly what needed to be done to correct the administrative error and fix it without a moment’s delay. Yet less than a minute later, she was anxiously searching Chakotay’s face for a few words of encouragement.

“Lieutenant Fran.”

Dee focused her eyes on the admiral and felt her face grow warm as she realized that she’d been staring. Kathryn watched her with a tiny smile of amusement while Chakotay fussed with the replicator. “Yes, ma’am?”

“Have the ensign hold my calls. I’m going to eat some lunch and relax.”

She couldn’t believe her ears. “Lunch, Admiral?”

“The meal between breakfast and dinner,” Chakotay quipped from the back of the office, giving Dee a wink. “The one the admiral always seems to overlook.”

Kathryn tried to look angry, but broke into a grin. “Reschedule my 1230 meeting with Commander Reilly to 1300.”

“Make that 1330.” Chakotay shrugged. “It’s already 1220, Kathryn. You need time to relax and let the food settle.”

Kathryn, much to Dee’s surprise, acquiesced without hesitation. “Okay, make it 1330.” She turned to Chakotay, “But don’t be surprised if I’m late getting home tonight.”

He laughed. “I’m only surprised when you get home early.”

Dee backed out of the room, anxious to give the couple their privacy and stunned by the electricity that seemed to spark between them. The afternoon following the lunch had been pleasant, relaxed, and a complete reversal from the tense morning. “Maybe Chakotay should feed her lunch every day,” Connor commented as he prepared to leave later that evening.

In time, the staff came to depend on Chakotay’s ability to sooth away the admiral’s bad moods. When his presence was called for, when the admiral’s stress levels were too high, and she needed to depressurize before she began flogging people, in Chakotay’s words, one of them would invite him to stop by for lunch. Almost without fail, Kathryn’s mood would brighten and the storm clouds would disperse. They thought they’d fooled her until one terrible day when Chakotay was out of town. “Too bad you can’t bring in the cavalry,” she sighed as she leaned back in her chair and ran her hands through her hair. “He’s on Vulcan right now.”

Dee smiled, bringing herself back to the present. The last months in the Delta Quadrant had given her new insight into Kathryn’s personality. She’d been strong, supportive, positive, and kind in her dealings with Dee, sympathetic with the Bajoran’s homesickness and willing to let Dee see glimpses of her own loneliness and despair. She’d also never wavered in her determination to find a way home and never let either of them descend into depression by keeping them focused on a solution to the problem. But at night, when she thought Dee was asleep, her vulnerability had shown through. Kathryn often cried herself to sleep, and in quiet moments when she thought she was alone, Dee could see the pain and sadness in her eyes.

“The shift over?” Kathryn asked as she sat up on the cot, rubbing her eyes and yawning. “I meant to come relieve you, but I must’ve fallen asleep.”

“Neelix sent me to tell you that an Okingala patrol has contacted him. They want to inspect his crew and cargo, and they’ll be here in fifteen minutes.”

Kathryn’s hand went to the Bajoran ridge on her nose. “DNA testing, too?”

“We hope not. But, we aren’t sure.”

“I recommend against taking public transportation on your way out of the Empire.” Morlach, the legal assigned to Tom and Chakotay’s case gave them a sympathetic look. “Even though it will cost you more than double the usual fare. I’ve been contacted by a few private contractors who’d be willing to take you.” He handed them a printout.

“I see what you mean,” Chakotay said, shaking his head over the information before handing it to Tom. “At these rates, we could have starlight suites on the public transports.”

“But I can’t vouch for your safety on those.” Morlach sighed. “I’ve received threats on my life simply because I agreed to represent you in the courts. No telling what might happen to you if the general public had access to you.”

“But,” Tom protested, “the government has accepted that we weren’t involved in the explosion in the Rencasi sector. They’ve told us we can leave the empire without any further fear of prosecution.”

“I know that, but this fear is based on something much deeper, more emotional,” Morlach warned. “Your ship appeared in the midst of our space just as the legendary Vaduaar ships did centuries ago. For all we know, you could be descendants of the Vaduaar.”

Tom and Chakotay glanced at each other. They knew, of course, exactly what the Vaduaar looked like. Seven of Nine had inadvertently loosed the species on the quadrant by reactivating them after an eight century “hibernation.” However, they knew better than to share that knowledge, even if the threat of another Vaduaar invasion might be more real than the Okingala realized.

“Is this the cheapest fare you received?” Chakotay asked, changing the subject.

“No. There was a cheaper one, but I didn’t include it in the list. The contractor is suspected of dealing with the black market and transporting contraband.”

“How much cheaper was he?” Tom wondered.

Morlach accessed his records, pulling up the information. “He’s a Talaxian named Neelix and his ship is tiny. You’d have to share quarters, I’m afraid.”

Chakotay took the information. “We can do that, especially for this price.”

“He might expect you to help out on the ship, too.”

“Can we talk to this ‘Neelix’?” Chakotay asked. “Maybe we can work out a deal.”

Morach shrugged, “It’s your choice. But I don’t recommend him.”

Tom said, “We’ll take a chance.”

“His local representative is a female named Dexa. Shall I have her contact you?”

“Please do.”

They spent the next few minutes thanking Morlach for his help and wishing him luck in dealing with the angry public.

“The public has a short memory,” he assured them as he took his leave. “I’ll be fine once the next crisis arrives.”

Alone at last, Tom turned to Chakotay, aware, as always, that their conversation was probably being monitored. “What do you think about this Talaxian?”

“I think he’ll be okay,” Chakotay replied, giving his friend a wink. “We’ll just have to watch our backs.”

“Bribery is a wonderful thing,” Neelix exclaimed as he walked into the tiny galley of his ship. “Especially when spending Starfleet’s replicated credits.”

Kathryn, who had been hiding in a storage cabinet, stretched her aching muscles. “They’re gone?”

“They’re gone.”

She sighed with relief. “There were no complications?”

“Not after they found the contraband and put me on probation. They’d met their daily stop requirements and had issued their expected number of citations. A few extra credits in their palms convinced them that they didn’t really need to check the crew.”

“Contraband?”

“Seems that one of the containers we picked up at our last stop did not contain the rahktahr beans after all.”

“Drugs?”

“A tiny quantity of a popular hallucinogenic, I think.” He winked at her. “I don’t think all of it will make it into their holding tank, if you know what I mean.”

“Just so they won’t bother us again.”

“They won’t. The nebula where Arturis is hiding is just a few light years away.”

“But how can Dee and I just leave this ship? The Okingala will notice that you lost a couple of passengers, won’t they?”

“Well, that’s the other thing.” Neelix admitted, a huge grin on his face. “The inspectors never verified the paperwork. As far as the Okingala are concerned, I have no crew on board.”

“And all this for one bribe?”

“I’m good, aren’t I?” Neelix crowed with delight as Kathryn simply shook her head.

“I’m just glad you’re on our side, Neelix.”

“I don’t like it.” Kathryn Janeway stood behind the desk in Arturis’ ready room, glaring at B’Elanna Torres and Neelix. “I think Arturis should be there, too. Neelix’s little ship is too vulnerable. It doesn’t even have photon torpedoes.”

“I agree, but our cloaking device reacts poorly in heavily traveled shipping lanes,” B’Elanna explained. “The problem is caused by an interaction with the field generated by the benamite crystals, but so far I haven’t been able to figure out why. We need to keep our distance from Renden or we’ll be detected.”

Kathryn sighed. How would the Okingala react if they discovered a third Starfleet ship, a cloaked one at that, lurking deep in their territory? It wouldn’t be good. Chakotay’s credibility would be ruined and all his work for a proper first contact lost. “How close can we get?”

B’Elanna pulled up a star chart and spent the next several minutes describing their planned course to shadow Neelix on his trip to and from Renden. “We won’t really be that far away, Kathryn. If he needs us, we can be there soon enough to help.”

“That’ll have to do, I guess.” She turned to Neelix. “Dexa has contacted Tom and Chakotay?”

Neelix nodded. “Yes. They’ve been released by the Empire and have booked transport on my ship out of Okingala space. They’re waiting for me to arrive and take them back toward the Crossroads.”

“Very well. We might as well get started. The sooner we get to Renden, the sooner this whole mess will be over.”

“I’ll beam back to my ship at once.” Neelix started for the door.

“Thanks again for all you’ve done, Neelix,” Kathryn said. “You’ve been a good friend to us for too many years.”

“The feeling is mutual, Admiral.” The Talaxian glowed with happiness as he disappeared through the door.

“Sometimes his positive attitude rubs me the wrong way,” B’Elanna sighed. “If he wasn’t so damned sincere, I could just box his ears.”

Kathryn laughed. “Janeway to Ayala.”

“Ayala here.”

“We’re getting underway. Follow Neelix’s ship on the predetermined course, keeping an adequate cushion of space between us.”

“Yes, Admiral.”

“Are you worried about Tom’s safety?” Kathryn swiveled her chair to access the replicator slot behind her desk. She was diligently trying to catch up on several months without coffee.

“Not at all. Everything has gone just about as Chakotay predicted.”

Kathryn raised an eyebrow as she sipped the hot brew. “He thought they’d be arrested?”

“He knew it was a possibility, of course. You know how exhaustive he is when planning these missions. He spent six weeks fretting over this on our way out here, and this was Plan B from the beginning. He’d hoped that their getting captured would take the heat off of you two and let Neelix get you out of there more easily.”

“Which is exactly what happened.” Kathryn nodded and leaned back in her chair. How many hours had she spent with her former first officer in Voyager’s ready room nailing down every possible outcome of a proposed mission? The amount of time they’d spent on such details was mind boggling, yet essential to their survival. They’d been the perfect combination-her scientific, by-the-book approach had been nicely complemented by his willingness to think outside the box, to be innovative and even illicit. His years as a guerilla fighter had made him the perfect devil’s advocate to her more customary strategies. They’d made it through those seven years together, and she’d never denied how much she’d needed him.

“You are worried about them aren’t you?” B’Elanna smiled. “They’ve been in worse situations.”

“I know that, but I was always in a position to help them if they needed it.” They were silent. Through the ready room’s tiny window, Kathryn could see that they were underway, although the stars, usually brilliant as they streamed by, were dimmed by the effect of the cloak. Their conversation, B’Elanna realized, was taking an interesting turn; the admiral was gradually disappearing and being replaced Kathryn. She’d seen the transformation before and was always fascinated by it. “I can’t believe Chakotay didn’t leave me a message,” she said looking forlorn and embarrassed.

“I asked him about that. He said that what he has to say must be said in person and that you’d understand.”

Kathryn looked away, shocked by the tears that suddenly filled her eyes. “I just miss him so much, B’Elanna. I didn’t know if I’d ever see him again.”

“He thought you were dead. We all did for awhile. Do you realize that your mother and sister have sat through two memorial services for you?”

“I can’t imagine it, really. I’m sorry that it was a real funeral for sixty-three innocent people.”

“I know you are, but that wasn’t your fault.” B’Elanna watched as the older woman closed her eyes in grief. “I was wondering if you could tell who was on the Cardassian shuttle?”

“We could barely find the shuttle, much less determine who was inside it. The Romulan cloaking device must have been their latest model.”

“I was afraid of that. I think it might have been built to interact perfectly with the slipstream field. It was a miracle that you discovered it at all.”

“I’d love to get the bastards who designed it. Has Starfleet had any luck at all in determining just who was responsible?”

“The last time we heard what was going on in the Federation, the Cardassians were claiming that the Romulans stole the ship, and the Romulans were claiming the Cardassians stole the cloak.”

Kathryn sighed in frustration. “We’ll just have to assume they were working together and get our revenge on both.”

“I think that was exactly what was about to happen.”

“And I don’t get the satisfaction of helping with that either.” Kathryn stood up, suddenly exhausted. “If you and Mike can handle things here, I’m going below for a nap. Dee and I will replace you next shift.”

“Sleep well.”

Arturis was small, having only four tiny cabins for its long-term crew, so Kathryn went to the one that had belonged to Chakotay on the long trip to the Delta Quadrant. Tom and B’Elanna shared a second one, while Dee and Mike had quarters to themselves. Letting herself into the quiet darkness, she stood for several moments, imagining that she could feel her husband’s presence in the room. His medicine bundle was on the shelf of the bedside table and a picture of the two of them lounging on the porch of her mother’s house sat beside his computer screen.

A thought struck her, and she moved quickly to the desk and activated the viewscreen. “He said that I’d understand that what he needed to say had to be said in person,” she murmured as she pulled up the message program, entering a few personal codes they routinely used. “What he really meant was that I needed to hear it privately.”

Sure enough, in a matter of moments, his face appeared on the screen with his characteristic grin. She paused it before he began speaking, taking those moments to simply look at his face as he began the message; she knew that he was imagining that he was looking at her, and she could see the tenderness and affection in his brown eyes. Tears blurred her vision as she touched the screen, her hand trembling. Now that he was so near, she missed him even more than before.

“If you’re hearing this, Kathryn,” came his voice, “then you’ve figured out what I meant–that I wanted you to hear this while you were alone. That you’re hearing this at all means that, for whatever reason, Neelix found you before I did and we’re still not together. Believe me when I say that wherever I am, I’ll come to you as soon as possible.” He paused, visibly struggling to maintain control of his emotions. “I thought you were dead, Kathryn. I thought I’d never see you again. In light of the fact that you’ve miraculously survived, I can wait a few days longer.

“Obviously, I stole Arturis. I tried to get Starfleet to send a rescue mission, but you know how conservative Admiral Travers can be. When he refused, I felt I had no other choice. I know I could’ve gone to Admiral Paris or even Richard for help, but I felt a sense of urgency about getting out here and I didn’t want to wait to play the usual Starfleet games. I hope you can forgive me.”

She paused the message again, a sense of panic surging through her. What would’ve happened if he’d waited, if he’d played those Starfleet games? Even a week’s delay could’ve been disastrous. The Okingala had discovered Jeff Munro’s body just a day before Chakotay and Tom arrived at Renden looking for them. If they hadn’t been arrested, the officials would’ve begun screening all other aliens, including Dee and herself. It would’ve been a matter of time before they’d been discovered and charged with serious crimes.

Plus, Starfleet would never have allowed Chakotay and the other members of Voyager’s crew to come on the mission, even though they had much more experience in dealing with Delta Quadrant cultures and first contact situations. She couldn’t have picked a better team herself-Chakotay as the mission commander, Tom as the pilot, B’Elanna as the engineer, Mike Ayala as tactical officer-the crew was perfect for this kind of work. With a sigh, she reactivated the message.

“Be patient, Kathryn. I know what I’m doing, and I’ll be with you soon. We can spend the six-week return trip getting to know each other again,” he promised, his eyes sparkling with mischief. The transmission ended, leaving her painfully aware of her solitude. She walked over to Chakotay’s bed and pulled off her boots, cuddling into the pillows as if they were her husband’s warm, solid body.

“I don’t need to get to know you again, darling,” she whispered, stifling a sob. “I remember you. How could I ever forget you?”

“Has the ship moved at all in the last hour?” Kathryn Janeway sat on Arturis’ bridge, her eyes fixed on a tiny spot on the viewscreen-Neelix’s ship, from the vantage point of a million kilometers or so. She shifted in her seat and sighed. “No, Mike, don’t answer that. I know they’re going as fast as they can.”

Mike Ayala, who was taking a tour at the helm simply glanced back at her and grinned. He desperately wanted to tease her about needing a man, but knew she could still take his head off his shoulders with just a look. Kathryn, who saw his smirk, smiled back.

“I know what you’re thinking, Mike, and I advise you to keep your mind on your job.”

“Yes, Admiral,” he answered, turning back to his duties.

After transferring Dee and Kathryn permanently to the Arturis, Neelix had returned and picked up Dexa, Tom, and Chakotay and headed in a leisurely fashion toward the distant Talaxian colony. Arturis had followed at a safe distance, ready to come to their assistance, if needed, but remaining out of any traffic lanes that might compromise their cloak. Too far away and too slowly, as far as Kathryn was concerned. At least their leisurely pace had given her the chance to restore her nose to its original human shape before Chakotay saw her as a Bajoran.

“Admiral,” Mike said, suddenly sitting up straight. “They’ve changed course and increased their speed.”

“Give me a tactical display.” The view screen shifted from real time to a computer generated, three-dimensional star field. Neelix’s ship, a tiny blue dot amidst dozens of white stars, was being approached by a handful of equally small red dots. “Pirates?”

“I think so.” He used a cursor to point at the two red dots closest to Neelix’s ship. “These two are probably the armed vessels, and the two following them in are the mules-the ones that carry the loot.”

“Janeway to Torres. Report to the bridge.” Kathryn swore under her breath. “Where did they come from?”

“This asteroid belt.” Mike moved the cursor. “The metals in the asteroids naturally disperse our scans. No telling how many more ships they have in there.”

B’Elanna arrived on the bridge, followed closely by Fran Delia, who’d been with her in the galley having breakfast. “What’s happened?”

Kathryn quickly filled them in on the unfolding pirate attack. All four of them studied the screens, deep in thought. “The Okingala border patrols are too far away to be of any help,” B’Elanna pointed out. “By the time they get here, there’ll be nothing left but scrap metal.”

Ayala nodded. “And the pirate ships are just as fast as Neelix’s is, and probably have more firepower. He can’t outrun or outgun them.”

“We could drop our cloak and rescue them,” Dee suggested. “Arturis could easily disable the two main ships and take Neelix’s ship in tow.”

“I’d love to do just that,” Kathryn said, “but not yet.” She stood up and put her hands on her hips in typical Janeway fashion. “B’Elanna, can we maintain the cloak while at high warp?”

“I guess so. I’d have to make a few modifications to the power supply, and I can’t say how long the cloak would hold up.”

“Do it.” B’Elanna headed for engineering. “Mike, how long will it take us to cross the Okingala border at warp nine?”

He turned to the helm and did some quick calculations. “Just under three minutes.”

“Lay in a course,” she ordered as she turned to Dee. “Send a one word message to Neelix. ‘Surrender.'”

“Admiral, are you sure?”

“Just do it, Dee.” She sat down in the command seat, trying not to fidget as she imagined how her plan would unfold. “B’Elanna, have you made the necessary modifications to the power system?”

“Yes, ma’am. You can engage at warp nine and keep the cloak, but only for about five minutes before you burn out the emitters.”

“Long enough. Mike, engage at warp nine.”

“Yes, ma’am.”

For two minutes, the bridge was silent. Then, Dee reported, “Neelix is trying to head for the border, too, but the pirates are gaining on him. He’s under fire.”

Kathryn narrowed her eyes. “Mike, once we leave the Empire, find a suitable location for us to hide while we drop the cloak, and then return at warp nine to Neelix’s coordinates.”

“Aye, Admiral.”

“I get it,” Dee said, shaking her head. “We’ll be the ship that was ‘waiting’ outside of Okingala space to pick up Tom and Chakotay. We’re only crossing the border to come to their rescue.”

Kathryn grinned. “Exactly. I just hope Neelix can fight the pirates off until we arrive.”

“Okay, Admiral,” Mike reported. “We’re hidden behind a nebula. I’m dropping the cloak.”

“Set a course back to Neelix’s ship and engage at warp nine. How long, Mike?”

“He’s closer to the border than we were. Less than two minutes.”

“Red alert.” Kathryn stood up, her heart pounding as she raced to the tactical station. “Battle stations. When we drop out of warp, Mike, use evasive maneuvers delta five. I’ll do the shooting.”

“Yes, ma’am.”

The battle didn’t last long. Arturis dropped out of warp and neatly rendered the pirates’ weapons systems useless with a few well-aimed phaser beams. The pirates and their two cargo ships withdrew without landing a shot and headed for the safety of the nearby asteroid belt.

Kathryn glanced at Dee. “Open a hailing frequency, Dee.”

Neelix peered at them from a shattered, smoking bridge. “I thought you were behind us!”

“We were. But it seemed more prudent to come from outside the Empire.” Kathryn studied the scan of the tiny ship. “Looks like you’re in bad shape. We’ll take you in tow and head for the border.”

“Admiral,” Mike Ayala interrupted. “The Okingala security forces are heading toward us from their base at high warp, trying to hail us for all they’re worth.”

“Too bad our comm system is malfunctioning.” Kathryn moved back to the command seat. “Engage tractor beam and get us out of Okingala space at best possible speed.” She leaned forward, her elbows on her knees, “and please tell me, Mr. Ayala, that we’ll be out of their space before the Okingala arrive.”

“It will be close, Admiral.”

“The sooner the better, then. Let’s get underway.” As the interior shot of Neelix’s bridge faded from the view screen, Kathryn was almost certain that she saw her husband lurking in the shadows, a big grin on his face.

Chakotay looked so disappointed to see her when he finally beamed onto Arturis that B’Elanna laughed out loud. “Expecting someone else, were we?” she teased.

“I haven’t seen my wife in nearly a year,” he replied, looking so dejected that she regretted her outburst. “Can you blame me if I’m anxious to see her?”

“Kathryn’s still wrangling with the Okingala captain about our unauthorized trespass on their territory. She said she’d join you in your quarters as soon as she was finished and we were underway again.”

“Is there going to be a problem?”

“I don’t think so. He just has to cover his tracks so the bureaucracy doesn’t chew him up, I think.” She walked over to her friend and took his arm, sympathetic. “I can’t imagine how you must feel. I miss Tom and he’s only been gone a couple of weeks. She’ll be along before you know it. She misses you, too, for some reason.”

When he walked into his quarters, he could tell immediately that Kathryn had moved in. He could smell the faint aroma of her perfume and the weak scent of brewed coffee in the air. Plus, he saw her usual clutter, a hair brush on the desk, her slippers beside the sofa, her damp robe discarded on the perfectly made bed, a half dozen PADDs on the coffee table. He picked up the robe and buried his face in it, overwhelmed by the familiar scent of her soap and shampoo. He felt weak with desire for her.

The last few days had been nearly intolerable. Stuck sharing quarters with Tom Paris on Neelix’s tiny ship, he’d found himself studying the sensors, even staring out the view ports, trying to locate the cloaked Starfleet vessel that was shadowing them. She was out there, almost within transporter range, and he longed to see her, to hold her in his arms, to talk to her, to make love to her. Now, she was one deck above him, on Arturis’ bridge, and he had to resist the urge to simply burst into her ready room and drag her back to the privacy of their quarters.

In the ready room, Kathryn, too, was growing impatient. She stared at the image of the Okingala captain, her face flushed with anger. “I have no intention of returning to Okingala space for a hearing on my ‘illegal incursion’ into your territory. The reason I crossed the border is obvious- the ship I was waiting to meet was under attack by pirates. If I hadn’t come to their rescue, no telling what would’ve happened to them.” No thanks to you, she thought, biting her tongue.

But the equally angry bureaucrat on her view screen was not to be denied. “Drop your shields and prepare to be boarded.”

“Not today.” She mumbled as she terminated the communication and burst onto the bridge. “Is everything ready, Mr. Ayala?”

“Aye, Admiral. B’Elanna says we can go to warp whenever you’re ready.”

“Do it.” With a single tap on his panel, Ayala sent the ship into warp with a lurch, its normally smooth operation impeded by the Talaxian ship it was tractoring along with it. Kathryn steadied herself with a hand on Mike’s shoulder. “Are they following?”

“Negative. However, they’re issuing an order for our immediate arrest when and if we ever attempt to enter the Okingala Empire by any method.”

“I can live with that,” she smirked as she returned to her seat and pulled up a series of schematics on her personal display. They’d had to come to a full stop when Neelix’s heavily damaged ship had threatened to lose its structural integrity, but their brief delay had given him enough time to correct the problem. It had also given that pompous bureaucrat a chance to threaten her with arrest. “Once we’re convinced everything is going to stay in one piece over there, beam Mr. Paris back aboard. In the meantime, you have the bridge.” She stood up, trying not to look too anxious to find her husband. She felt certain that Mike could hear her heart pounding in her chest. “I’m going to finish up my logs in the ready room and then head to my quarters.”

“Tell him I said he did a great job, Admiral.”

She grinned. “Tell him yourself. I don’t plan to do a lot of talking.”

She could hear Mike chuckling as the ready room doors closed behind her. She hurriedly completed her log on their rescue of Neelix’s ship while her mind began to wind down from the adrenaline rush of battle. It had been nearly a year since she’d seen her husband, and during that time she’d repressed all but the most basic of emotions, as she had the last time she’d been in the Delta Quadrant. Except for a few brief moments of solitude when she’d cried in frustration and despair, she’d remained as detached as a Vulcan, often feeling as though she were watching events as if she were outside her body.

Chakotay would help her come to terms with the complex feelings she feared would overwhelm her. She was, of course, excited and joyful to be reunited with him. She paused, suddenly overcome with emotion. She’d always thought of him as her refuge, a friend to whom she could turn to find comfort and protection and sympathy. Yet he’d become so much more than that in the last seven years. She’d missed his calming presence and absolute devotion. Even when they’d argued, even when she’d been unreasonable and demanding, he’d always loved her, always accepted her, always believed in her. What had she done to deserve such loyalty? How could she ever repay him for all he’d done for her?

Minutes later, Kathryn nearly ran from the lift to the doorway to her quarters, stopping momentarily to catch her breath. When the doors opened, she discovered that dozens of candles illuminated the room, soft music was playing, and vases of peace roses filled the quarters. Normally Spartan and utilitarian, the rooms were a cozy and inviting haven.

She stepped in far enough for the doors to close behind her and stood waiting for her eyes to adjust to the dim light, amazed and moved by the welcome Chakotay had prepared for her. She spied his familiar silhouette leaning against the archway between the living area and the sleeping alcove and felt her heart leap in her chest.

“Chakotay,” she breathed, her voice a whisper.

She had looked forward to this reunion for months. She’d imagined herself running and throwing herself into his arms. She’d seen herself dissolving into tears as he cradled her against his chest and soothed her with quiet words. She’d dreamed of his kisses and the sensation of his hands and his body on hers as they fell onto the bed and made slow, passionate love. She’d seen all this and more in her mind’s eye, yet she found herself rooted to the floor, struck dumb and unable to move.

All the emotions of the last year threatened to emerge at once in the presence of this man whom she trusted so deeply. She felt love and admiration for him, yet other, deeply repressed feelings bubbled up to keep her from moving. She felt grief for the Dauntless’ crew, fury at the Cardassian bastards who had attacked them, guilt for having survived the attack and for failing to prevent the attack in the first place, and weariness at her long exile in the Okingala Empire while she waited for rescue. She felt deep pain and sorrow at having hurt Chakotay, at having lost nearly a year of their lives together, at having left without a proper farewell.

Chakotay watched her face as she struggled to maintain control of the emotions that threatened to overwhelm. He knew immediately that at this moment she needed him to be a friend and advisor more than anything else. As much as he wanted to give her a bone-crunching hug, he quickly adjusted to her needs first. She always had been, and always would be, a Starfleet officer first and foremost, a fact he’d accepted years earlier, while they were still on Voyager. She would always put duty before her own wants and needs. How could she be joyful and happy when so many others died, when so many others would never rejoin their loved ones? She would have to come to terms with the disaster that had separated them before she could rejoice in their reunion.

He took a calming breath and faced the problem head on. “Kathryn, you did everything humanly possible to prevent the Cardassian attack,” he said, knowing perfectly well what was haunting her. “Using the shuttle to deflect the Cardassian phaser fire was the only viable option available to you.”

She looked down at her hands as tears filled her eyes. “Do you really think so?”

“I had very little to do on the trip out here but try to think of alternate strategies.” He resisted the urge to go to her and embrace her. He had to be patient and keep his distance for now and let her think this through. “Using the shuttle was the best chance you had. The only one really.”

She shook her head, refusing to be absolved from guilt by his explanation. “I should’ve found the Cardassian shuttle sooner. You told me to scan for it yourself.”

“And you did scan for it. Didn’t you?”

“Yes.” Her voice was a whisper. “Not well enough, apparently.”

“The shuttle’s cloak was specifically designed to deflect Starfleet sensors.” She didn’t move, but she closed her eyes and angrily brushed away a tear that streamed down her cheek. “B’Elanna studied the scans Starfleet took of Dauntless entering the slipstream for nearly forty-eight hours before she could find any evidence of the shuttle, and she was using the computers at Starfleet Command. How long did it take you?”

“Too long.” No excuse, sir. They were taught that at the academy, to offer no excuses for failure. But this wasn’t the academy. He felt the heat of anger flair up and pushed it away. Would she listen to reason, or was she stubbornly going to blame herself for this disaster? He tried another angle.

“The sensor shadow from Dorvan V that I told you about? The one Ayala sent to me? It wasn’t this shuttle.”

Her head came up in surprise. She’d agonized over this mysterious scan for months, blaming herself for failing to follow up on the warning with enough diligence. “It wasn’t? Are you sure?”

“A subspace echo, maybe. Maybe a malfunction.” He shrugged. “Ayala saw it again in the same spot a month later. The same exact spot. He told me about it on our way out here.”

“A subspace echo?” She narrowed her eyes, feeling the beginning of hope in her heart. Maybe she had done her best. “That’s what it was?”

“Whatever it was, it wasn’t the shuttle.” He stepped toward her, wanting her to hear his next point. “The important thing is that the Cardassians ship got past the Federation’s sensor nets along the demilitarized zone and into the very heart of the Federation without being detected. Those sensors are much more sensitive than Dauntless’ were and were designed specifically to detect cloaked ships, yet they didn’t find them. Aren’t they to blame for this as much as anyone?”

The sadness on her face broke his heart. He could see her as she tried to accept his analysis, tried to see how the disaster didn’t fall on her shoulders alone. “I keep seeing their faces, Chakotay. Sixty-three people, more than half of them from the Slipstream team. I’ve worked with most of them for the last six years. I know their husbands, their wives, their children. Connor and Bailey and L’plat and Raasten.” Her hand came up to her mouth as she choked back a sob.

He finally approached her, taking her shoulders in his hands. “You didn’t kill them, Kathryn. You put your life on the line to save them. The Cardassians killed them, not you.”

“But I didn’t save them, either. I failed them, Chakotay. I let them die.”

The tears were spilling down her cheeks when he finally took her into his arms. “No. What happened was not your fault, and I won’t let you blame yourself for it. No one blames you, Kathryn. You did everything you could to save them.”

She buried her face in his neck and sobbed, letting her grief and sorrow finally find expression. “I’m the one who should’ve died,” she cried. “I shouldn’t be here with you. I shouldn’t have another chance at happiness when so many good people died.”

“What would they want you to do? They would want you to keep on living, to be happy again.” Her tears were warm on his skin as they soaked through his shirt. “Get this out of your system, Kathryn. You need to mourn for them, to come to terms with what’s happened. Only then can we move on.”

She nodded and slipped her arms around him, sagging into him, suddenly fatigued. “Hold me.”

Relieved that she’d finally accepted his advice, he picked her up and took her to the sofa, where he sat down and cradled her in his lap. She snuggled into him, her arms around his neck. “There’s no real defense against an enemy who’s willing to commit to a suicide attack. And it was suicide even if they failed. B’Elanna says that the cloaking device gave out deadly radiation. They wouldn’t have lived another month.”

Kathryn raised her head to look at him, the tears caught in her lashes glistening in the candlelight like stars. “Radiation poisoning?” The troubled look eased slightly as she looked into his eyes, her hand brushing his hair away from his tattoo, his face so handsome and dear to her. “Are you just saying this to make me feel better?”

“Are you kidding? Tell Admiral Kathryn Janeway a lie? I’m not that brave.”

A smile tugged at the corner of her mouth. Talking to him about this made her feel so much better. She felt a rush of gratitude and love for this man who was so willing put his own feelings aside to listen to her. He’d always put her needs first, even on Voyager, and she was grateful to him for that. “You’re very brave, I think, to bring a teeny tiny ship like this thirty thousand light years from home.”

Her mood was changing. He could see that she’d relaxed slightly, that she had accepted, for now, at least some of what he’d told her. He held her a long while, letting her cry until she finally quieted, until he was sure she was ready to talk about more personal issues.

“I thought you were dead,” he said, quietly. “And then, when I realized that you might have survived, I had to come get you. I took the ship because it was the only way to find you. I hope you understand that and forgive me for it.”

She moved slightly closer, putting her face next to his until their foreheads nearly touched. She shivered to think of him sitting through her funeral, of the pain he must have felt. She reached up to brush away the tears than now streamed down his face. “I’m so sorry for what you’ve gone through. I’m sorry I hurt you.”

“Nothing matters except that we’re finally together.” He brushed her lips with his own, groaning inwardly at the sweetness of the kiss, at the pure joy it brought him. “I love you, Kathryn.”

“I love you, too.” She closed her eyes and melted into him, her arms slipping around his neck as he pulled her closer. She sobbed in relief, burying her face in his shoulder as the hot tears once again flowed down her cheeks. Who else would have done this for her? Who else would have defied Starfleet and stolen the ship, taking her rescue into his own very capable hands? Not Richard, certainly, nor Mark. Justin, perhaps, if he’d lived. She pulled away slightly so she could look up at him, her face aglow with love and with admiration and with a playfulness that warmed his heart.

“You’re my hero, Chakotay, and you’re the smartest, bravest, kindest man I ever met.” Her eyes twinkled with mischief. “In fact, when they send you to prison for stealing Arturis, I promise I’ll visit you every chance I get.”

He smiled at her joke, and the sight of his familiar dimples took Kathryn’s breath away. “Have you forgotten that I have friends in high places?”

“Oh, really. For example?”

“I have a dear friend who’s an admiral. She’ll come to my defense.”

“You sound awfully sure of yourself.”

“I’m quite sure of myself, actually.” He pushed a strand of hair out of her face and behind her ear, pausing to cup her cheek.

She turned her head to kiss his palm, her breath warm in his hand. “I’ve heard you’re sleeping with her. Won’t everyone think her opinion of you might be a little biased?”

He took her face in his hands and kissed her deeply. “I am sleeping with her, every chance I get. And hers is the only opinion that matters, as far as I’m concerned.”

“I’d say you’d better do well in the sack then,” she teased, sliding off of his lap onto on the sofa and pulling him toward her, stretching out beneath him.

“I’ve had no complaints so far.” He looked down into her eyes, thrilled to see that the guilt and worry he’d seen there earlier had been replaced by a passion and desire that made his heart hammer in his chest.

Kathryn laughed and then closed her eyes, relishing the weight of his body on hers, the feel of his lips on her neck and shoulders. “Let’s keep it that way, shall we?”

“My pleasure.”

Then, there was no more need for words.

Tom Paris guided Arturis flawlessly through the intricate maze of asteroids toward the tiny Talaxian colony. Neelix had parked his ship- little more than a hulk-on a large asteroid for later retrieval and restoration. In the meantime, he and Dexa had beamed aboard Arturis for the final leg of their journey.

“So, where’s the admiral?” Neelix asked from the back of the bridge. “I’ve wanted to thank her in person for rescuing us from the pirates.”

“She’s checked in with us regularly over the comm, but nobody’s seen her or Chakotay in two days,” Tom answered, giving him a knowing wink. “We’re wondering if they plan to hibernate until we return to the Federation.”

“You wouldn’t be that lucky, Mr. Paris,” Kathryn said as she and Chakotay emerged from the turbolift. She walked up to the pilot and put a hand on his shoulder. “I need to thank you, all of you, for helping Chakotay with his rescue plan. It was masterfully done and completed in the nick of time.”

Tom blushed, uncharacteristically bashful. “You would’ve done the same for any one of us, Admiral.”

“Yes,” she said softly, giving his shoulder a squeeze, “Yes, I would have.” She turned to Neelix and Dexa, who stood with Chakotay near the back of the bridge. “And you two,” she said, her smile even wider. “How can I ever thank you for helping find us? Without your investigation into Dauntless’ disappearance, everyone in the Federation would’ve thought Dee and I perished with the ship. You’re our guardian angels in the Delta Quadrant.”

Neelix practically glowed with pleasure. “I’m just sorry we didn’t find you sooner.”

Fran Delia interrupted them from her station at ops. “Admiral, there’s an incoming message from the colony leader, Selax.”

“On screen.” She turned to face the front of the bridge, smiling at the Talaxian on the screen. “Selax, it’s a pleasure to meet you. I’m Admiral Kathryn Janeway.”

“Welcome to the colony, Admiral. I see that you’ve returned Neelix and Dexa to us unharmed.”

“Yes. I wish I could say the same for Neelix’s ship. However, we plan to stay around long enough to help him restore it before we return to the Alpha Quadrant.”

“That’s very kind of you, Admiral. We look forward to renewing our acquaintance with you and establishing a firmer connection between our peoples.” He looked past her at Arturis’ bridge. “It seems to me that with the successful test of the slipstream drive, we should be expecting more Starfleet vessels to visit the quadrant in the next few years.”

Kathryn sat down in the command chair, grateful when Chakotay stepped behind her and put a comforting hand on her shoulder. “You’re probably right,” she agreed, “although I hope I’ve made my last trip.”

Selax raised a hand. “Never say never, Admiral. We Talaxians consider it a jinx.”

She put her hand over Chakotay’s, thinking of how her life had become intertwined with the Delta Quadrant, how her fate seemed inexorably entangled with this distant region of space, so far from earth. But both of her trips here had been bittersweet at best, involving incredible losses and astonishing gains. She’d had enough of that kind of excitement to last a lifetime.

“You may be right,” she agreed, glancing up at her husband. “My adventures here have taught me that I can be happy anywhere, as long as I bring the necessities of life with me.”

Later that evening, once the colony’s welcoming banquet had ended, Kathryn and Chakotay returned to the ship, exhausted and emotionally drained by their hosts’ exuberant celebration. As they crawled into bed and were about to drift off to sleep, he suddenly remembered the comment she’d made earlier on the bridge. “Kathryn, I have a question to ask.”

“Well, hurry up,” she mumbled, snuggling into his side. “I’m almost asleep.”

“You said you could be happy as long as you have the ‘necessities’ of life? Were you talking about replicators?”

She lifted her head to look at him, grinning. “You know what I meant. A ship and a crew are the real necessities out here, Chakotay. Having companionship and some hope of returning home makes for a much better experience.”

“Companionship?” he teased, his eyes narrowing. “That includes a first officer, right?”

She smiled at him. “Fishing for a compliment, are we?”

“I’d like to think my companionship is necessary for your happiness.”

“Chakotay, you are my happiness.” She kissed him softly. “You’re the best first officer I could wish for, but you’re an even better husband. You’re my safe harbor.”

He chuckled, relaxing as she laid her head on his shoulder with a contented sigh. “That’s what I am to you? A spaceport or something?”

“No, darling, you take me too literally.” She thought a moment, barely able to keep her eyes open, her voice drowsy. “Actually, I think of you as my home. When we’re together like this, it doesn’t matter where we are in the galaxy, I’m at home and I’m happy.”

His eyes misting, Chakotay kissed her forehead and cradled her against him, feeling her breath grow deep and regular as she drifted to sleep. “And you, Kathryn, are my guiding star.”

(A follow-up to this story, “Mirror Image,” can be found elsewhere on this site.)