Disclaimer: All things Star Trek belong to Voyager. I’m just taking a few of the characters for a little outing.

Summary: Janeway and Chakotay finally get together and struggle to find a way to have a future together.

Note: This story takes place a few days after The Farm.

Line Camp (A Belle Colony story)

by mizvoy

“When you said ‘line camp,’ I thought it would have a real bathroom, at least.” Kathryn Janeway stood outside of the rover and took in what could only be called a “shack,” including what looked like a shower in a tiny shed toward the back of the building. She got goose bumps just thinking about taking a shower there. “I said I could do without a bath tub, but I did hope to have indoor facilities.”

“I told you we only use this cabin when we come up to the high country to check on the livestock,” Chakotay answered as he pulled their bags out of the back of the rover and started toward the cabin. “It’s not a ‘summer camp’ kind of a cabin. Marilas can’t afford to put all the amenities in a place that we use two weeks a year.”

“But, Chakotay! An outdoor shower? At this altitude, the snow probably didn’t melt until yesterday afternoon. It’s even colder here than it was on the Toroyan ships.” She turned to face him, panic on her face. “Could we replicate a wash tub?”

“With what? There aren’t any replicators here.”

She groaned. “I’m afraid to ask about the toilet.”

“You’re going to love the portable potty, once I get it set up. In the meantime there’s a one-holer on the other side of the shower.” He stepped under the overhang that protected the front of the cabin from the sun and pushed the door open with his foot. “Before you sit down, make sure there aren’t any of the spider-looking insects under the seat. They leave a nasty welt.”

“Great.” She made her way over to the odiferous lean-to and peered inside. “Kathryn, my dear, you’ve lost your mind.”

Chakotay could hear her beating on the seat of the loo, trying to scare away the insects, and smiled in spite of himself. He’d tried to talk her out of coming with him on this springtime ritual, but once she made up her mind, she was impossible to reason with. He’d finally acquiesced, even though he was sure she’d be miserable roughing it in such primitive conditions. She asked to come, and he knew her pride would prevent her from complaining about it.

And, frankly, he’d looked forward to having some time alone with her.

A few minutes later, he heard the door of the outhouse slam and shouted to her, “There’s a lounge chair in the trunk. Set it up on the porch and get some rest while I clean out the inside.”

“What porch?” She trudged past the corner of the cabin and pulled her down jacket closer around her shoulders, taking in the rest of their cottage. The far end of the cabin had a stone chimney and she could see a huge pile of wood just around the corner, which meant, no doubt, that the only heating available was the fireplace that would fill the room with smoke and ash. There were huge boulders on the roof to keep the tin from blowing away during blizzards and thunderstorms, but only one window in the entire building, most likely making the interior dark and gloomy. She didn’t even want to think about the musty smell or the rodents who probably nested wherever they wanted when the shed was empty.

She stopped by the rover and scolded Marilas under her breath. “‘The cabin is much better than a tent,’ she says. ‘You’ll have everything you need.’ If I suffer a relapse from this ‘vacation,’ I swear she’ll live to regret making this suggestion.”

Chakotay emerged from the cabin and started toward the rover for another load of supplies. “The solar panels on the roof seem to have malfunctioned, but there should be enough battery power left to keep our food cold until I can get up there and repair them.” He started to pull out a cooler and then noticed that she hadn’t moved an inch. “Do you want me to get the lounge chair out for you?”

“Solar panels?” she said, turning to face him with a hopeful look on her face. “Where are they? On the back of the roof?”

“Yeah, just enough to provide some lights inside and a few luxuries. Oh, and I found a good sized bucket in there. We can heat water and you can use it to take a sponge bath, if you want.”

She rolled her eyes. “Things are looking up.”

“Listen,” he chuckled, walking up to her and putting an arm around her shoulders, “if you really want to go back, I can take you back whenever you want, this afternoon or tomorrow. I know this cabin isn’t your idea of fun, and, frankly, I’m going to be out during the day for hours at a time while you’re stuck here with nothing to do.”

“Go back? After the tantrum I threw to make you bring me along? I can’t lose face like that, Chakotay.” She nestled into his side and glanced around at the stunning scenery. “Besides, it is pretty up here, in a primeval sort of way.”

“Relax on the porch and take in the fresh air while I get the rest of the supplies unloaded. We’ll have some lunch and then you can decide whether you want to stay.”

She nodded and walked to the back of the rover with him, pulling out the lounge chair while he hefted a huge cooler onto his shoulder. “I know what you’re thinking, you know. You think I’m just grumpy because I’m tired and that once I have a nap and something to eat, I’ll think this place is the bee’s knees.”

He laughed out loud. “The bee’s what?”

“I should be helping you unload all this stuff,” she said as she unfolded the chair. Even though she didn’t want to admit it, every bone in her back was aching from the rough road they’d covered in the two hour drive from the farm house. “I’m almost well, you know, and I intend to pull my weight.”

He answered from inside the cabin, which he’d refused to let her see until he’d finished cleaning it. “I don’t mind doing a little extra work. Besides, having you here with me, even for a short while, is payment enough.”

“Phhht. I know flattery when I hear it, mister.” She leaned back and took in the deep blue sky, puffy clouds, and cool breeze, stifling a yawn. The field in front of her was waving with bright green grass dotted with a multitude of flowers that scented the thin air with perfume. She pulled a blanket up to her shoulders and listened to the birdsong that drifted from the copse of trees just down hill from the cabin. “It’s really nice out here, you know. When you get finished, you should join me.”

“Good idea. I’ll bring our lunch out there.” He emerged with a hypospray in his hand. “It’s time for your medicine.”

“That stuff makes me sleepy,” she complained as she tilted her head to give him access to her neck. Almost simultaneous with the hiss of the mechanism, Kathryn felt a wave of exhaustion sweep over her.

“Take a nap, then. When you wake up, we’ll eat.”

Her back felt better once she was stretched out on the chair, and the blanket, warm and soft around her neck, smelled of Chakotay’s cologne and Marilas’ laundry detergent. The peacefulness of her surroundings and the sedative effects of the medication combined to make her feel comfortable and safe. She smiled at the bawdy tune Chakotay whistled as he worked inside the cabin, the familiar melody taking her back to the first time she’d heard it while at another ‘camp’ where they’d been alone for nearly six weeks. It was a happy memory, one that always made her smile, and she soon was so relaxed that it was impossible to keep her eyes open.

An hour later, Chakotay carried the lunch tray to the door of the cabin and stood there studying the woman who was sleeping soundly on the lounge chair, taking in the auburn hair that peeked from below her woolen cap, the white skin of her face and hands, the slight body that was enrobed in his blanket.

The last three weeks had been a revelation to him, especially the way they had slipped into their former intimate friendship as if they’d never been apart. He treasured the declaration of love she’d made to him, even though he suspected that she had been too sick to remember saying it. As much as he enjoyed being with her, he also knew that it wouldn’t last. She’d leave as soon as she was well enough to do so.

He knew that was this trip was really about her impending departure. She’d received a packet of information through Tom Riker just a few days earlier, and then she’d insisted on coming with him to the line camp for a chance “to get away.” It didn’t take a genius to figure out that she was trying to find a place and a time to tell him goodbye.

Her blue eyes opened and focused on him. “Chakotay?”

“Time to wake up, sleepyhead.” He moved through the doorway as if he’d just arrived there.

“How long have I been asleep?” She asked, pulling herself upright so that the tray would sit across her lap properly.

“Long enough for me to finish my work-maybe an hour. All that’s left is getting the solar panels working. I thought maybe you could help me this afternoon?”

“Sure. What are we having?”

“Marilas sent some potato soup and fresh bread. She knew we’d be hard pressed to unpack and get organized in time to fix lunch.”

“That was thoughtful of her.” They shared their lunch in the weak sunshine. Since Kathryn had dozed most of the way in the rover, they talked about the children who had seen them off that morning, the work he needed to accomplish while at the line camp, everything except the one thing that was foremost on their minds. At last, once they’d finished eating, Kathryn grew quiet. “I guess you know that the message I received from Riker this week was actually from Tuvok.”

“I suspected as much.” He found it impossible to look at her. “I imagine Starfleet is planning a big parade for your second miraculous return from the dead.” When Kathryn sighed at the bitter tone of his comment, he straightened up and gave her an apologetic smile. “That didn’t come out the way I meant it to.”

“This is a difficult situation for both of us, I imagine.” She set the lap tray on the ground beside the chair and turned to face him. “Since you came to me that night in Illinois and told me the truth about why you’d disappeared, my goal has been to prove that you were innocent of all the charges against you. I want you to be able to come home just like the rest of us, and that goal hasn’t changed, even if we’ve discovered a long-term pattern of treachery within Starfleet in the process.”

“But that’s what makes the problem so difficult. Do you actually think that you can take these people on single-handedly?”

“I plan to find some allies in the process.”

“You have no idea what you’re up against. How will you know whether you’ve identified and neutralized every member of Section 31? If even one cell or a single agent survives, they’ll consider both of us a threat. We would live in constant fear over what they might do to us or to the people we love.”

“Section 31 is an aberration, Chakotay. I’ll find them all, no matter how long it takes.”

He wanted to argue, but decided that this wasn’t the time for pessimism. She’d worked too hard to recover from her illness for him to dampen her spirits now. He glanced up at her, taking in the earnestness of her expression with a pang of anguish. “When do you leave?”

“I have two days of medicine left to take. The doctor said that once I go two or three days without symptoms, then I’ll be well enough to return.”

“That soon? Four or five days?”

She nodded. “I’ve asked the Caritas to let me borrow the ship with the upgraded sickbay, so Kazuo can be properly cared for en route. It’s small enough for Marci and me to pilot for that distance, and Tuvok will meet us at Starbase 450.” She paused, reaching out to take his hand. “My dream was to bring you along, but there’s been a glitch in the process.”

“Let me guess. Starfleet isn’t convinced that I’m innocent.”

“Starfleet admits that there were irregularities on Belle Colony, but they aren’t convinced that the Maquis ship didn’t bring on the final blast, perhaps inadvertently. Thanks to Anorha, I have the evidence to prove that now.”

“And what about the fact that there were no victims? Have they managed to avoid that issue, too?”

“I don’t understand that part of it, Chakotay. Why didn’t someone in Starfleet follow up on the victims’ names? It doesn’t make sense.”

He rolled his eyes. “It makes sense if you realize that they don’t want the truth to come out. They’d rather frame a few rebellious Maquis than deal with the hazards of ferreting out a covert branch of Starfleet that dabbles in illegal research and criminal activity.”

She glared at him. “I don’t believe that for a minute. Once they hear my recording of Anorha’s testimony, they’ll know that the destruction was not only planned by Section 31 itself, but that no one died that day. They’ll have to drop the charges against you.”

He pulled his hand out of hers and walked away. “You’ll see. They’ll come up with something else, some other crime to charge me with.” He turned and snapped his fingers. “I know-they’ll accuse me of desertion because I left Voyager without permission.”

Tears of frustration burned in her eyes. “I won’t let them.”

“Kathryn, you should just give up and let me go, just as I asked you to so many years ago.” He sounded miserable as he turned away from her again. “You can see that I’ve found a good place for myself here. The work with the Caritas is very satisfying, and I have a real home on the farm, a real family with the sisters and the orphans.”

“I do see that. Is this life enough for you? Don’t you want to see your Voyager family again?”

“I have everything I need, and I’ve learned the hard way that I can live without the things that are just ‘wants.’ I spent seven years on Voyager learning that.”

A sudden cold breeze caught their attention, and a common, late afternoon shower sent Chakotay scurrying to fold up the chairs while Kathryn stacked the dishes on the tray and dashed into the cabin. She stopped dead in her tracks. Chakotay squeezed past her and closed the door, leaning the chairs against the wall as he took the tray from her hands.

“Surprised?” he asked her as he headed for the sink.

“Flabbergasted is more like it.” Her eyes looked over the cozy room, taking in the stone fireplace with a futon on either side, the small galley and kitchenette, and the indoor bathroom that was wedged into the far corner and included a small, but very sufficient antique metal bath tub. “You did all this while I was taking a nap?”

“I’m not that good. When I realized that you were determined to come along, I sent the high schoolers up here in the afternoons to get things cleaned up and organized. They needed some service hours for their graduation, and doing this filled the bill. Chet and Ray Borland scrounged up the bathtub somewhere and beamed it down this morning. There’s a screen we can set up to give you a little privacy when you need it.”

“I was expecting to sleep on the floor, to tell the truth. But those futons actually look comfortable.”

“They are. I made sure of that.”

She crossed the room and gave him a hug of appreciation. “You’re too good to me, Chakotay.”

“I want you to come back someday.”

She wilted slightly, but kept her arms around him. “You don’t think I can arrange for your safe return?”

“Let’s put it this way, covert groups like this can really permeate an organization. I hope I’ve exaggerated the extent of the problem, but I don’t think so.”

“I think you have. I believe that this Section 31 is a very small aberration that will crumble under public scrutiny.”

“The fate of a single Maquis is hardly important enough to bring down a powerful group like that.”

“I happen to know that you aren’t the only one who was victimized in the Belle Colony fiasco.” She pulled away and walked toward the fireplace, thinking of Ramon Cabrera and the crew of the Coquille, all of them victims of Section 31’s ruthlessness. “I’m willing to guess that these criminals were into plenty of shady operations, and that there are many other victims out there who need to have justice done.”

“Report what you know to the authorities, Kathryn, and let them do their jobs. There’s no reason for you to put your life on the line by sticking your nose into things.”

“For the other incidents, I will, but I have a vested interest in getting to the truth about Belle Colony. Besides, you make it sound as if every other Starfleet officer I meet will be out to get me.”

“I’m just saying that you can’t assume that someone is okay simply because they wear the uniform.”

Kathryn frowned, but couldn’t really disagree with him. Her fury at Captain Ransom of the Equinox had come from his failure to live up to Starfleet principles, and that experience had almost destroyed her command and her relationship with Chakotay. “I’ll be careful, and I won’t do any more of this on my own. I have the members of Voyager’s crew to depend on and a core of trusted friends in the ranks who will lend a hand.” She sat down on the futon with a sigh. “I’m more concerned about when I’ll see you again.”

“You can come see me right here whenever you want to.” He finished cleaning up the dishes and put them away in silence, the heat of Kathryn’s angry glare warming his back.

“What are you saying? Don’t you want to see our crew again? B’Elanna and Tom, and their baby? Harry and Seven and Tuvok and the doctor? Not to mention the Maquis?

“We don’t always get what we want, Kathryn.”

“So that’s it? You just give up? Just like that?” She flopped back on the sofa in despair. “Don’t you care about the people at home?”

It seemed that in the time it took her to blink her eyes, he was across the room and sitting down beside her on the sofa. “Do I care?” He was shaking with barely restrained rage. “How dare you ask that question? Why do you think I left the way I did? Why do you think I’ve given up my name and gone into voluntary exile? I left because I care about you and am trying to keep you and the others from being pulled into this Belle Colony mess. And what do you do? You plow right into it even though I asked you not to and practically get yourself killed in the process.”

In spite of his angry words, Kathryn stayed calm and let her memory take her to an icy tent on Antarctica and another man who had reminded her so much of Chakotay. Ramon Cabrera had been forced to go into hiding to survive following his exposure to the Belle Colony episode, and he was just as reluctant to come out of hiding as Chakotay because of the ruthlessness of those who were in Section 31. She remembered his words of warning, “You simply don’t understand the peril your actions have put you in,” and reminded herself that Chakotay was saying the same thing.

“Maybe I am underestimating the danger,” she said softly, reaching to take his hand. “I get fixated on what I want to do, and you know how I can be when I make up my mind.”

“Obstinate? Inflexible? Pig-headed?” He took her hand in both of his and smiled at her.

“You don’t have to be so descriptive.” She smiled, too, and the tension between them evaporated. “I’m in a unique situation here, Chakotay. I can try to do something to fix the damage that’s been done by Section 31, and I’m determined to try.” She reached out and touched his face. “You see, what it comes down to is this-I don’t want to live my life without you.”

He covered her hand with his, pressing her palm into his cheek. “I wish to God it was possible for us to be together.”

“There has to be a way, Chakotay.” Tears welled up and spilled from her eyes. “I’m not ready to give up yet.”

“Then we won’t.” He pulled her closer and put his arms around her. The rain had brought with it a cold wind, so she moved closer and snuggled into him seeking warmth and comfort. She had told him everything she could remember about the crew’s whereabouts since his disappearance, but there was one question he’d been waiting to ask. “You said that the crew has helped you try to solve the mystery of Belle Colony.”

She nodded, her head resting on his shoulder. “They’re willing to do whatever I ask them to do.”

“Hasn’t anyone tried to talk some sense into you?”

“Sense?” She looked up at him in surprise. “What makes more sense than proving you aren’t guilty, Chakotay? Why should you be punished for something you didn’t do?”

“Tuvok hasn’t warned you that looking into this situation might alienate the wrong people? Admiral Paris hasn’t counseled you about being so obsessed over one person’s future that you’re damaging your own career?”

“They know better, Chakotay. They know I won’t quit, and I’m pretty sure they know why, even if they never come right out and say so.” She smiled up at him, her eyes glowing with affection. “It must be glaringly obvious to everyone that I’m in love with you.”

He drew a quick breath of surprise. “Obvious?”

“Chakotay! I told you that I love you weeks ago. Don’t you remember?”

“I thought you were delirious with fever. Or maybe momentarily out of touch with reality.”

“Well, I’m all better now.” She drew closer, so close that he could feel her warm breath caress his face, her voice a whisper. “Love’s like that, isn’t it? Delirium? Temporary insanity? What do the Vulcan’s call it? Wild ecstasy?”

Chakotay could feel his heart pounding as she tilted her head slightly and touched his lips with her own. His body flooded with warmth as it responded to her kiss, and he struggled to keep his wits about him in spite of his desire to push her down on the futon and cover her body with his own. Before he completely lost control, he whispered, “Hold on.”

She pulled away and looked up at him, her eyes troubled. “Is something wrong?”

“I think I’m hallucinating. Who are you? And what have you done with Kathryn Janeway?”

Her familiar crooked grin instantly appeared, and she chuckled as she ran a thumb across his lower lip. Her eyes were sparkling with happiness and excitement as she closed in for a second, more passionate kiss. “Chakotay, for the first time since we met nine years ago, this is the real me.”

“Finally,” he sighed as he surrendered to her advances, “the real you.”

On Starbase 450, Commander Tuvok tried for the fourth time to access his mail site. If he’d been human, he would have blurted out a string of expletives. Instead, he simply ran a quick diagnostic and found an unusual document blocking the system.
He considered whether to delete it, but then thought better of it. Starfleet security personnel never assumed anything—neither that the document was a random error nor that it was unimportant. In fact, he thought it might very well be a communiqué from Admiral Janeway herself. He downloaded the document onto a PADD for further study, sitting back in his chair to take a closer look.

He was confronted with two series of numbers. The pattern of the first series suggested space coordinates, so he called up a navigation program and typed them into it. When he received a location on the far side of the Gamma Quadrant, he shook his head and took a second look. Backwards, the location was on the galaxy’s rim. Another error. When he ran the first and third of the three numbers backward and left the second as it was, he received a location inside Federation space, a star system quite close to the Badlands, in fact.

What he needed was the exact time to know exactly what would be located at those coordinates, so he studied the second seven-digit number, assuming it would be a star date. He picked up a tricorder and had it run the seven numbers through any star date that contained those digits and show where the Tevlik coordinates would be for those dates.

In three months’ time, on star date 59063.05, the coordinates fell precisely on the Tevlik moon where the Cardassians had massacred the Maquis during the Dominion War.

“Curious,” Tuvok said to himself as he deleted the document from the folder. He knew that he’d received an important message, but he had no idea who it was from.

Three weeks later, a much healthier, but still frail Kathryn Janeway studied her image in the full-length mirror in Marilas’ bedroom at the farmhouse. She frowned at the drab colors of the Starfleet uniform and fiddled with the admiral’s bar, still missing the row of four pips that had gleamed on her collar for so many years; no matter how much it hurt, change, she reminded herself, is an inevitable part of life.
“You look wonderful, Admiral.” Chakotay grinned from the doorway.

“I do not look wonderful,” she disagreed, looking at his reflection. “I’m too thin, too pale, and these uniforms are as ugly as homemade sin.”

“I guess I’m blinded by love.” He walked into the room and stood behind her, looking at their reflections over her shoulder. “I think you’re beautiful.”

“You’re biased.” She leaned back against his chest as he slipped his arms around her waist.

“You bet I am.” He burrowed through her hair and nuzzled her ear. He felt her shiver as his warm breath touched her neck. “The packet Riker brought with him was from Tuvok, wasn’t it?”

“Um-hmmm,” she sighed, closing her eyes. “Admiral Hayes has agreed to give the Belle Colony case a further review, in light of the new information that has become available. It’s too bad that Anorha is dead, because it would help if he could interview her personally.”

“Good thing you have your interview of her to show him.”

“Tuvok thinks that in six months or so, Chakotay might be able to come back from the dead.”

He chuckled. “Good. I’ve missed that guy.”

“Not as much as I have.” She turned in his embrace and touched his left temple. “I also miss the tattoo. Are you going to have it redone?”

“Eventually, I suppose, although I’ve discovered that an easily recognizable mark like that isn’t always such a good idea.”

She lifted her face to his for a lingering kiss. “I don’t want to leave.”

“And I don’t want you to go, but we’ve been over this a dozen times.”

She held her cheek against his, drinking in the familiar aroma of his cologne and feeling the scratch of his late afternoon beard. “Wherever we end up, let’s have a little place like the line camp as a vacation home, okay?”

“That’s a great idea. Only, let’s get a bigger bathtub.”

“Point taken.”

“Admiral?” Marci Brooks, also in uniform, appeared briefly at the door only to step back and look away, embarrassed to have interrupted their embrace. “Ray Borland says he’s ready to go when you are.”

Kathryn grinned at Marci’s discreet withdrawal. “Thanks, Marci. We’ll be along in a minute.” She looked up at him, a sad smile on her face. “I don’t think I will ever finish telling you goodbye.”

“It’s not goodbye, Kathryn. This is just a temporary separation.”

“I keep telling myself that.” She stepped back, checked her hair in the mirror, and led him from the room.

As Chakotay followed her down the stairs and out of the house, he thought back to that morning at the line camp, their last morning together for the foreseeable future. Even though he had watched the transformation occur, he had difficulty believing that this immaculately dressed and emotionally controlled Star Fleet admiral was the same disheveled Kathryn who had been snoring softly in his arms at dawn. As they stepped onto the lawn, he could see the same bewilderment in the eyes of the children who had gathered to give her a proper send-off.

“Kathryn,” Marilas said as she walked toward them, “or should I say admiral?”

“Kathryn, of course,” she answered, giving the older woman a smile as she took in the circling children. “What’s all this?”

“Most of them have something for you to take with them, to remember them by.”

“As if I could forget them.” Kathryn knelt down to hug the smaller orphans and look them in the eye as they presented her with their hand-made treasures. It was obvious that the children loved her and that she enjoyed being around them, so Chakotay stepped back and watched her interact with them, a feeling of dread filling his heart.

His mind traveled back to the last two weeks of her stay. He hadn’t been surprised when her illness required a final round of medicine, giving them much-needed time to be together at the line camp and solidify their growing commitment to each other. She had slept most of the time while he was gone to do his chores so that she could spend time with him in the late afternoons and evenings. They went for long walks along the fences, enjoyed lingering dinners in front of the fire, and shared precious moments of intimacy in the privacy of what Kathryn called their “honeymoon hideaway.”

Her health had steadily improved, and both of them had known that she would soon be leaving to return to the Federation, but they had ignored discussing that inevitability until the very last minute-the night before her departure.

They lay on the futons that had been pushed together in front of the embers of the evening’s fire, snuggling under the down comforter as the encroaching chill of night blew down on them from the hills. In early spring, the sun was warm only when it touched their skin. Once it slipped behind the hills, the cabin returned to the damp cold of winter.

Kathryn curled against his side, staring out the window at the moonrise, when she finally broached the subject. “As much as I would love to have you come back with me, I know it’s too soon. We’ll have to wait until the issue of your warrant has been put to rest.”

“I’m a patient man.”

She snorted. “You might be patient, but I’m not.”

“You aren’t?” He laughed when she punched him softly on the chest. “How long do you think it will take?”

“Although I’d love to take on all of Section 31 right away, I’m going to focus on Belle Colony first. I’d like to think that Starfleet will take care of the problem as soon as it’s made public, but, for now, I just want you to come home as soon as possible.”

He was quiet a few moments, stroking the bare arm she had flung across his chest. “This could be our home,” he suggested.

“It might have to be, if I can’t convince them to reopen your case.”

He laughed at the thought. “As if you would ever leave Starfleet or the Federation.”

“I could get myself posted to Starbase 450 again. I certainly have special insight into the Union/Toroyan War since my escapades here.”

“That might work, except that we couldn’t be together all the time.”

“True, but as an interim measure, it could work for awhile.”

“Are you having second thoughts about being able to exonerate me?”

She sighed. “It’s not that. It’s just that I have to believe that this will be a brief separation or I’ll never be able to make myself leave.”

He pulled her close and ignored his own doubts and worries as he tried to encourage her. “I’ve waited too long for you to let you get away without a fight.”

“I feel the same way.” She stretched out beneath him and smiled at the way his eyes darkened with arousal. “I have dreamt of just this-snuggling with you in front of a fireplace, unburdened by responsibility and finally able to act on my feelings. But I can’t settle for a few weeks here and there with a promise of more when we can find the time.” She paused to kiss him. “I want it all.”

Chakotay suddenly became aware of Kathryn standing in front of him with a bemused look on her face. “Janeway to Tyee! A penny for your thoughts.”

He blushed and ducked his head. “Not in front of the children.”

“I wish you could just show me!” she laughed giving him a brilliant smile. She had an armful of gifts that she was struggling to carry, so he quickly opened the satchel he’d brought with them from the house and helped her put them there. That done, she looked up at him with tears filling her eyes. “Walk with me to the beam out site?”

“Of course.” They walked in silence toward the location behind the barn that the Caritas usually used as the transporter site. The more isolated location allowed Chakotay to come and go at times that might otherwise be awkward at the orphanage, and also avoided upsetting many of the younger children who were often frightened when people disappeared into thin air. Now, both Kathryn and Chakotay were glad to have a few last moments of privacy before they parted.

Chakotay shifted the awkward satchel so he could take her hand. “Kathryn, I owe you an apology, you know.”

“You do?” she glanced at him, a grin tugging at the corner of her mouth. “Were you daydreaming about another woman back there?”

“Not in a million years. I should apologize for leaving Voyager like I did. I think you were right; I should have stayed and faced the music the way you suggested.”

“I’m not so sure about that. After all we’ve been through since then, I’m thinking that the only way you could have survived was to get away the way you did. I think it might be a good thing that they think you’re dead. These people will stop at nothing, including murder, to keep their crimes from being made public.”

He nodded, gratified that his ploy had worked. “And you’ll remember that as you go about confronting them when you get back. Right?”

“How do you do that?” she chuckled, giving his hand an appreciative squeeze. “If you’d lectured me about the possible trouble I’m about to cause myself, I would’ve ignored you, but now you have me lecturing you about it.”

“Let’s just say I know how you think and leave it at that.” When they arrived at the site, Chakotay placed the satchel at her feet and then put his hands on her shoulders, gently massaging her tense muscles. “You’ll keep in touch.”

“I’ll send messages to Tom Riker through the same method Tuvok has been using.” She smiled up at him and then glanced away as tears spilled from her eyes. “I promised myself I wouldn’t cry.”

Pulling her into his arms, Chakotay kept an iron grip on his own tears until she gradually regained control of her emotions. “Your return is going to be big news, Kathryn. I imagine we’ll even hear about it way out here.”

“Yeah. I’m tempted to say, ‘The reports of my death have been greatly exaggerated.'” She shook her head. “My poor family. I owe them one for putting them through this ordeal for a second time.”

“I think they’ll forgive you. The important thing is that you’re alive.”

She gave him a lingering kiss and then stepped back, wiping the tears from her eyes with the backs of her hands. “What are you going to do while I’m gone?”

“I have to go back to the line camp and straighten up the mess we left, and then I’m sure I’ll be busy here on the farm getting the spring planting done and taking care of the new calves.” He took her hands in his. “If I have time, I’ll do some work for the Caritas. I like doing that. But, mostly, I’ll be waiting for the chance to see you again.”

They stood there gazing at each other for several long moments before Kathryn said, “I guess it’s time.”

“I guess so.” He dropped her hands and gave her a sad smile. “See you in six months.”

She nodded and tapped her commbadge, never taking her eyes from his face. “Janeway to Caritas vessel. One to beam up.”